Fallen
by faith4ever131
Summary: Things have changed in New York. Spot Conlon has lost full control of Brooklyn because of a crime he didn't commit. He can't be looked at or trusted or at least thats what they think. He wants to go back to three years ago. Life was so simple then but he can't... A stand alone sequel to The City Never Sleeps. If you don't want to go back and read the first it is all explained here
1. Chapter 1

I woke up and I didn't know where I was. I looked around taking everything in. I was in an alleyway... I know this place. I can't be here! I'm not supposed to be here! I was used to sleeping on hard cobblestone. I sighed. The night before I'd just wanted to close my eyes for a second but I must have fallen asleep because I could see the sun peaking through the clouds. What time was it? I reached for my pocket watch but found nothing. Somebody must have stolen it off of me during the night. Damn it that thing was new and I'd been saving up for months!

I stretched and my bones made horrible cracking sound from cold and lack of movement. Every calendar read Spring but in the morning it was still twenty degrees out. I know I should get out of Brooklyn as fast as I can but I don't want to leave. It still feels like home to me. I sighed. I was still tired I never seemed to get enough sleep back then. I stood slowly and started to walk to Manhattan. I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge and started walking to work. I was a factory boy and I hated it more than anything. But not more then the one who really killed Sound...

I walked into the factory. All of the kids are working at their machines. It seems like they are working more carefully then ever since yesterdays accident Clara had, where her hair was pulled out of her head by one of the awful machines. At least I'm on time today. I walked to my work area.

"Hey Spot, so how are we doing today?" I heard next to me.

"I'm fine Game." I mumbled.

As nice as Game is, I'm not in the mood to talk today. I wouldn't call him a friend. I wouldn't say I have any friends anymore. I didn't trust like I used to. Not since every newsie in the whole state turned on me.

"Come on Spotty have a little more pep in your step." He joked.

"Ha ha." I said sarcastically.

"What's wrong with you today?" He asked.

I just shrugged and got back to work. I could barely keep my eyes open so work needed my full concentration.

"You visited Brooklyn last night didn't you?" Game asked.

"Yeah."

"I told you not to be going around there you'll get hurt."

"I only visit every once and a while."

"Well all of the newsies over there want your head. And that one kid whats his name... West?"

"That's him."

"Well he wants you dead most."

I felt anger boiling inside me and it was about to blow.

"You know I didn't-" I started.

"I know you didn't do what they're saying you did. You wouldn't have done that Spot."

I take a deep breath to calm down. I don't like talking about what happened back then. I wish things could just go back to the way they were three years ago. I barely make half of the pay here that I made as a newsie. I don't get a warm bed anymore. I thought maybe Jack and his newsies would take me in once Brooklyn through me out but no he wouldn't even look at me. I took another few deep breaths.

"Spot you dropped something." Game told me.

I looked to my side and saw a picture. It was my picture. I picked it up.

"Who's the girl in the picture Spot? Is that your girl?" He teased.

I rolled my eyes.

"She's... Well not anymore." I stuffed the picture into my pocket. I don't really know why I kept that picture. But every now and then I'd look at it. It always made me smile. The girl in the photo was my girl a few years ago. When Game wasn't looking I took out the photo again. We took it at Coney Island together. She had brown eyes and brown curly hair.e Her name was Faith. I put it back in my pocket.

I thought for a second that maybe I could go see her. Sometimes I really did miss her. I thought that she would at least let me talk to her. She hadn't communicated with me other then the occasional smile and wave. Even that got her into deep shit but she still did it anyway.

After another few hours I was so tired I could barely move. I was starting to doze off... I yawned.

"Hey Spot you okay?" Game asked.

At first I didn't answer.

"Hello Spotty? You okay?"

I just nodded my head. But before I knew it I was falling asleep standing up. Suddenly I felt freezing cold water being poured on my head.

"This is twice in one week Conlon! Fall asleep on the job one more time and I swear to god!" The foreman screamed.

Once he was far enough away I gave Game a look.

"You c-could have t-told me." I stuttered from the cold.

"Sorry Spotty. I was working."


	2. Chapter 2

By the time I got out the sky was already black. My clothes were still damp. At least it was warmer then it was this morning. I didn't mind working in a factory during Spring as much as I did Summer where some kids would literally lose conciseness or Winter where you begin to shake uncontrollably. Fall was okay too.

"See you tomorrow Spot." Game said as we left.

"Yeah game I'll see you."

I knew where I was going . Manhattan Newsboys Boarding House where Faith lived I was desperate to talk to someone, anyone. I remembered how easy it was talking to Faith. I told her things I never told anybody else.

As I walked I started to think of Brooklyn and everything that had happened. I thought of West. He was my best friend once. But that was a long time ago. Then I thought of Sound. He was so young... so small. He was seven. He didn't deserve to leave this world the way he did. I remember his little body covered with scarlet. He looked deformed and slashed. My stomach churned at the thought of it. He was a good kid. I remember one day he came up to me and said, "Spot where did you get that cane from?"

I looked at him and smiled.

"This has been passed down generation to generation of Brooklyn leaders. Maybe one day it'll be yours."

His face lit up. He looked up to me. He always wanted to know what the older kids were doing. I didn't mind it when he tagged along with us. He always wanted to learn something new. But now he's gone.

I walked until finely there the boarding house was and there Faith was. She was out on the fire escape looking up at the dark sky. I just stood there watching her for a while. Then suddenly she saw me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked.

"I needed somebody to talk to." I explained.

"If Jack see's me here he'll kill me and you! I'm already in enough shit right now."

"Remember how we used talk? It was so easy I'm just asking for a minute."

She rubbed her eyes.

"That was a two years ago Spot..."

"I know I shouldn't be here. Please I need someone... I need you." I pleaded.

She stared down at me for a moment.

"Faith please." I begged.

"Maybe if you didn't do what you did then maybe things would be different."

"You really believe them? You really think I killed Sound?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore." She mumbled. "Spot I'm tired. Since Sound dies the world has gone insane. I don't need this right now... I really just don't need this right now."

I looked at the ground.

"I can't believe you of all people would say that..."

I felt so hurt, so alone. She had been my hope. But that was just smashed to bits too.

"After Steel I thought things would go back to normal. I just don't want to get sucked up in that again. Try to understand."

After that I didn't feel hurt any more just angry. Steel and West were the same both traitors. I felt my blood boil under my skin. Only thing was I had beaten Steel. West had won here.

"So West put that crap in your head too huh? You think I'm a murder to now-"

"I never said that!"

"Don't give me that!"

Faith climbed down the fire escape so that we were on the same ground level.

"Spot calm down okay? If Jack hears us then we're both screwed."

She put her hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I just shrugged it off. I didn't want it.

"I didn't kill anybody!" I said.

"I'm sorry-"

"No your not!" I shouted. "Nether is anyone else..."

My head was starting to hurt. It felt like it was throbbing.

"Are you okay Spot? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." I lied.

My head hurt and I was starting to have a bad case of vertigo.

"Spot I'm sorry, really I am."

"I think I just shouldn't have come..."

There was a pause between us.

"Faith is everything okay out there?" We heard. "I heard screaming!"

We turned to the window to see Jack. In an instant Jack and my eyes locked. Jack had banned me from going near the boarding house or any of his newsies. And there I was breaking both rules.

"What the hell are you doing here? Get away from here now! Murderer!" He screamed.

I bolted as fast as I could.

"Spot wait! Wait!" Faith called.

I kept running faster and faster. I ran through the crowded streets until couldn't breath. I stopped and sat down I was hacking and sweating. I managed to find the little alley I called home. I leaned against the wall. pounding it with my fist.

"I'm not a killer! I'm not a killer!" I repeated over and over.

I hit my fist so hard it started to bleed. I sat on the floor slumped against the wall watching my hand bleed. Maybe I'll bleed to death I thought. I closed my eyes when I heard, "Spot it that you?". Faith stood there looking at me.

"You shouldn't even be here!" I barked.

She shrugged and sat next to me.

"What did you do to your hand?" She asked as she picked up my bleeding hand.

I grimaced in pain.

"I don't know it just happened." I said.

"It looks bad. This thing could get infected."

"How did you even get here?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"I just followed you. I ran before Jack could come anywhere near me."

"Why'd you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't talked to you in two years why did you come to me now?"

She stopped and looked at me for a few seconds.

"I don't know. Why did you come to talk to me?"

"I don't know..." I smiled.

A person hadn't made me smile in a long time.

"Come on where do you live? I'll take you home and we can wash that hand of yours." she asked.

"You're already here."

"Your a street boy now?" She looked surprised. "Never thought I'd see this day."

"Take what you can." I shrugged.

"What are you doing for a living now anyway?"

"I'm a factory boy."

"How is it?"

"It's a miserable way of living." I mumbled.

She sighed and I can feel the sting of pity when I look in her eyes.

"Are you doing okay? You can tell me the truth." She asked.

"Does all of this look okay to you?"

She looks down not wanting to answer.

"Faith where are you?" A voice called in the distance.

"I should go now." Faith asked.

"You won't tell them where I am, will you?"

"Don't worry it's our secret."

For some reason I know she won't tell even before she says anything.

"Thanks Faith."

I see pity in her eyes again. It still stings horribly.

"Spot... Be careful."

I nodded, "I will be."

With that she smiled and walked out of the ally. I look at the cut on my hand. It did look pretty bad maybe I should wash it so that I can work. You know what I'm not going to. I was tired and it won't be that bad will it be? I close my eyes and slowly drift of to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi you guys! I usually don't do this but the character Emma is for my friend Ariana. She's been asking me to for a while so here she is enjoy her. Thanks to everyone who came back from The City Never Sleeps to read Fallen. Also to those new people who read even though it was a sequel. I hope you enjoy and thank you.**

I stared down at Sound.

"Come on k-kid." I stutter.

This has to be one of the younger kids pranks, I thought. They did this all the time. Only this doesn't really look like one of their little jokes when I take a few steps forward. I keep walking towards him.

"Sound get up." I began as I walked. "You got me okay? You scared me now ge-"I cut my self off once I get a really good look at him. He was coved in blood that oozed from gashes all over his body. My heart dropped. Oh my god he's dead... He's dead! I get down on my knees anyway. I know that if he has a heart beat there is still a chance. I pressed my head to his chest not caring about the blood that got on my ear and cheek...

Nothing. Not a sound. I stood slowly I backed away in a state of shock. I wiped the blood from my face with my sleeve.

I woke up in a cold swear. I took a deep breath and looked around. Was it morning already? My dreams now are flashbacks. That's all. Most nights they are about West and Sound. Sometimes they are about Steel. He was my other best friend who betrayed me. I relive the past every night.

I tried to move my hand but found a sharp pain instead. I closed my eyes again for just a moment wishing I didn't have to get up today. But it doesn't matter, I ignored the pain in my hand and wrapped it in a cloth. I went off to work. At least the cloth stopped most of the bleeding when I got to work.

"Hey Spot, what happened to your hand?" I heard.

I turned to see Emma a girl with blond air and hazel eyes. She wasn't really the nicest girl so I was surprised with her asking about my hand. Her parents were immigrants from Poland. That was all I knew about her.

"It's fine... Thanks." I mumbled.

I walked to my work area.

"Hey Spot. Have sweet dreams?" Game teased.

Even though Game is kind of a prick I like him sometimes.

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"There we go Spotty. That's the guy I know."

I worked all day and didn't fall asleep once. Even though my hand hurt it wasn't as bad now. After I started to walk home when Emma came up to me.

"Spot hey!" She called as I walked towards me. "So where are you going?"

She was only nice when she wanted something but I decided to play along.

"Home same as pretty much everybody else."

"Yeah you see I was wondering if you could come with me to-"

"I was waiting for that." I sneered.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh shut the hell up James."

"Don't call me James!" I barked.

"Spot is a stupid as hell name!"

"Who did you get in a fight with this time Emma?"

"Some of the messenger boys on the upper East side. Oscar and Morris." She said then started chewing on her tongue (a habit she always had).

"Why should I? The last time I went to beat the crap out of one of those guys they told the Brooklyn newsies and they were out for me for a month."

She rolled her eyes. "My god! Just do it _Spot, _for me okay?"

"You're not really someone I want to be doing favors for Emma. So goodbye." I said as I started to walk away.

"You'll regret it!" She shouted after me.

"Sure I will." I laughed.

I walked to my ally and did the usual inspection. Nothing had been stollen or moved. I sighed in relief. Back at the lodging house I didn't have to worry about anybody stealing my stuff because they respected me. That and I would have beaten the living crap out of every single one of the idiots that stole something from me. At least I thought they respected me. I pushed thoughts of the boarding house out of my head. I knew not to think of it.

"Come on James, you know better then this." I heard

That scared the living crap out of me. I turned around quickly. It was Emma.

"What the hell do you want?" I hissed.

"You know damn well what I want."

I sighed. She was so annoying.

"If I beat the crap out of those messenger boys will you leave me alone?" I asked.

She nodded her head.

"Well fine damn it!" I mumbled under my breath.

I walked passed her and we bumped shoulders. I grabbed some wooden stick I found some where. I didn't have my cane anymore because West had stolen it from me when I was kicked out of Brooklyn. He was leader now of corse. I made my way up to the Upper East Side. I didn't care anymore. I was to pissed to care! Eventually I saw them.

"Delancey!" I shouted.

They turned slowly. Oscar and Morris probably got on my nerves more then anything. I didn't care for them when they worked for the World and I certainly did not care for them now. They reared their ugly heads.

"Oh hello Conlon." Oscar said smugly.

"You talked to Emma today?"

They just completely ignored what I said.

"Well look what we have here." Oscar snorted.

"You got a big mouth. That why your mother left you?" I smirked.

His eyes narrowed.

"Oh at least my daddy didn't beat me." He said mimicking a child.

I gripped the wooden stick I was holding in my hand.

"Oh whats wrong mommy _and _daddy didn't love you?" He laughed.

I lost it I ran over to them I watched their faces turn into a look of fear. I started with Oscar hitting him over the head with the stick. I went a little overboard but I made sure I didn't kill him or make him pass out. Morris tried to pull me off him but when he did I just turned around and punched him in the jaw. I dropped the stick soon I was on top of him punching him. Half of me wanted to bash his face in (okay maybe a little more then half). But I didn't even though I didn't want to. I just stood and walked away.

"You'd better run Conlon! Brooklyn will be after you by tomorrow!" Morris screamed.

He and his brother were limping away.

I walked away. I was angry at every body. I was angry at West, Emma, Oscar, Morris, Jack, Faith... I was angry at the world. I sighed. Now I had blood to wash off my hands. Walked to a place by the water. It was one of those few places where there was practically no one there. I put my hands into the water. I washed off the blood on my hands and arms. I looked out to the water. I knew I shouldn't but it was so hard not to. I looked over at the Cony Island. You could see the lights from miles away. I didn't want to look away. I finely closed my eyes. I took a shaky breath. I stood and walk to my ally. Emma was still there. She stood there with her arms crossed.

"So how'd it go?" She asked.

I glared at her for a while.

"Get the hell out of here." I glowered.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine."

She walked out. I sat down and closed my eyes. Tired and angry. I didn't want to think about it. No I didn't _ever_ want to think about it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi you guys it's me again sorry for taking so long for me to post. I lost all my work for both of my books some how. But I am back to the usual times of posting Saturday or Sunday thanks!**

_Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none._

_William Shakespeare_

I woke up to another cold morning. This morning the cold claws at my skin. It seems to hate me as well. I really didn't want to get up today at all. I closed my eyes for a second then opened them again. I just wanted to stay in this ally. It was the closest thing to a home I had... But I had to make a living though didn't I? I stood and got ready for work. In the cold the task seemed practically impossible. I thought while dressing I'd freeze to death. As I breathed I could see my breath. Wasn't this supposed to be _Spring? _The sun was still rising. I stared at the sky for a second. It seemed like everything had changed now. I missed being a newsie, I missed my old life. Why was I even thinking about it? What did it matter?

I hurried away to work. If I stay and take a day off I would be fired. I'd seen it happen to dozens of others. What would I do then? Beg? No getting fired wasn't an option. By the time I got there I was still on time. Lucky me. I examined the place for a moment. My eyes scanned the crowd of kids working at machines double maybe even triple their size.

"Good morning James." I heard.

This made me jump. I whirled around to see Emma standing there. God she was obnoxious.

"What the hell do you want?" I glowered.

She laughed. "I think you already know. How did it go with the Delancey brothers?"

I stared at her for a second. I did not need this now. I

"Come on James," She smiled. "amuse me."

"Shut up Emma. Didn't you say you'd leave me alone."

"Oh come on James, you know I don't keep my promises and-"

"Just leave me alone Emma! I swear to god Emma I'll-" I stopped myself when I saw the foreman making is way around the factory. I didn't need to get fired. "Just stay far away from me."

And with that I made my way over to my work area.

"What did Emma want this time?" Game asked as I walked over.

"I think you already now." I snickered. "Has she told everybody about yesterday?"

"She won't shut up about it." Game rolled his eyes.

I laughed. I started to concentrate on my work.

"So... I was a Tibby's last night." Game muttered.

My head snapped up. "Who did you see there?"

"Well um-"

"I want to know."

"Racetrack Higgins, West and the other Brooklyn boys." He spit out.

"Oh was he now?" I snarled.

The truth was I hated Racetrack more than most newsies. I had my few newsies that were on the list of ones I hated most: Jack, West and Racetrack. I had good reason for all of them. Back when I was with Faith she was also in love with Race. I hated him then. Faith chose me over him, after that I didn't hate him. I just kept an eye on him. Now everything has changed. So I hate him as much as ever.

"Well anyway he was talking about a poker game in Brooklyn tonight." Game said.

"Why would you even tell me this?"

"I'm warning you not to go to Brooklyn tonight."

I laughed lightly. "Why?"

"Are you lost or just stupid? Jack and West will be there tonight. They may even try to kill you!"

I laughed again. I knew he was incredibly wrong there. The truth was it was probably safest for me to go during the poker game. West was basically as much of a compulsive gambler as Racetrack. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't let the newsies go out during the game. Also after West would count his money after the poker match anyway.

"So what time is this poker match?" I asked.

Game shot me a glare, "Do you think I'm that stupid?"

"I'm only asking a question."

Game rolled his eyes. "Spot you're willing to honestly risk your life over-"

"Oh Jesus Game, what does it matter? Do they care? Do you honestly think West cares? Why should I than? I don't give a shit!"

"Calm down Spot you're getting irritated."

I took a few deep breaths.

"Just tell me when the god damn poker match is."

"You know I can't do that."

"_Just tell me._" I hissed.

He sighed and shook his head.

"Fine than I'll find out myself." I said.

I didn't want to talk to him that. I was just angry and bothered. Game didn't try to start up conversation anyway.

When work was over I knew where I was going. I need a break. I could always go somewhere in Manhattan, but I needed to go _home._ I decided to go to Prospect Park. I would go to Coney Island, but that's to predictable. West could possibly be there. Prospect Park on the other hand I had to force him to go to most of the time. I started to head to Brooklyn. I walked keeping my head down. While walking across the Brooklyn Bridge I stayed in crowds. I couldn't be seen. I stayed in crowds 'till I knew I was safe...

When I was at prospect park, I was safe. I smiled. I felt free in a way. I walked around the park until nightfall. I was just thinking. It was wonderful and peaceful. I knew that Prospect Park was Brooklyn's version of Central Park, but I just wanted to be in Brooklyn. I saw kids playing in the grass and a couple having a picnic. The two on a picnic reminded me of Faith... We did that often. I should't think of it, but I let myself. Faith and I were always going out to places like this. I smiled lightly. Those were better times.

I knew I should head back to Manhattan once people started heading out. I stood and started to leave. I began to walk to the front entrance. I was getting close when I looked up and my heart stopped. There standing in front of me was Cash. He was one of the Brooklyn newsies. We just stared at each other. I was shocked. He was loyal. Maybe the most loyal newsie when I was head of the newsies in Brooklyn. He was possibly just as loyal to West too. Cash looked down breaking the stare. Should I say something? Cash just walked out of the park. I was frozen in a state of fear, shock and maybe panic. I turned to go back into the park. Going back into the park may sound like a dumb ass idea but Prospect Park was huge. West didn't know anything about this place. I scurried back into the park as fast as I possibly could. I had to get as into the park as possible.I knew I might possibly have to sleep in Brooklyn that night.

I just sat on a bench for a few hours when I decided I was going back to Manhattan. It would be better if I went out and got soaked by a few of them tonight then all of them in the morning. I walked out of the park. I took alleyways so that way West wouldn't find me. I continued to walk. I was nervous as hell at first but soon a began to calm down. The Brooklyn Bridge was starting to come into view. Not like that meant I was anywhere near it, the thing is huge. I was still very far away.

But then suddenly I felt something hit me in the back of my legs causing me to fall to the ground on my stomach. My legs hurt like hell. Were they broken?

"Well, well, well," I heard. West came from behind me. "If it isn't the king of Brooklyn himself."

My first reaction was to get up. I tried to but before I could West put his foot on my back and stepped down to hold me down. West hit my back with the cane... My cane. I grimaced in pain. West took his foot off my back and kneeled down.

"You look more like a slave to me." He sneered.

There were to others with him. Cash (not surprised are you) and Styx (Sticks). West flipped me over onto my back.

"Look at what a skinny fuck he's turned into." Styx laughed.

Styx alway had some sort of acsent... It was like a mix of German and Russian and Polish.

"He always has been." Cash said to Styx.

With that Cash kicked me in the side. West smiled at them. All of the newsies were now under West's control. They'd fallen for his mind games.

"I can't believe you are stupid enough to even come to Brooklyn! Let me tell you this Conlon, you don't own Brooklyn anymore." West glowered.

He hit me in the stomach with the cane. Then he hit me over the head. I felt like my head start throbbing! West laughed at my pain.

"Go on boys," West said. "take care of him will you?"

They smirked and beat me hard as hell. Cash seemed to really enjoy hitting my head against the ground or nearest wall until I bleed. Styx on the other hand enjoyed kicking me and punching me. Styx was a lot more verbal he really liked the insults. West just watched for the most part, other then when he wanted one of them to do something particular to me. Then West would order them to do what he wanted. I didn't even make it through the beating. I fainted half way through.

The next thing I remembered I was alone in the alley. I tried to move but I felt the sharp sting of pain when I did. I was in a pool of my own blood. I passed out again. I was in and out for a while. I managed at a point to stop fainting for awhile. I heard the sound of laughing in the distance growing closer... It sounded like two people. A boy and a girl. I didn't want anyone to see me. But moving was impossible. The laughing stopped and I guessed that it was because they saw me.

"Oh my god... Spot?" I heard.

In a moment Faith was standing over me in a moment. I looked up at her. I tried to open my mouth but nothing came out. She knelt down next to me.

"It's going to be okay Spot. I'll take care of you, don't worry." She said. "Race! Come here, you have to help me!"

Racetrack Higgins? No, I didn't want his help.

"Jack isn't going to want this." Race mumbled.

"Well, Jack doesn't know what the hell he's talking about!"

"We are going to be in deep shit when we get back with him." He said pointing to me.

Faith's eyes narrowed. "Racetrack get the fuck down and help me carry him to Manhattan."

Her words were sharp but her voice was calm.

"Faith he'll-" Race started.

"Anthony get down on the grown and help he carry him! I don't give a fuck what Jack says! Fuck Jack!"She screamed.

Faith didn't often get angry.

"By the way Race Spot isn't deaf, he can hear you." Faith said calmly.

Racetrack rolled up his sleeves and got down. I tried to squirm away, but the pain was intense. Faith and Race picked me up. I allowed them to. I felt tired... I struggled to stay awake. This was probably from the blood loss. Once we got to the Manhattan Lodging House. Kloppman was at his desk. He looked up and saw me.

"What happened? Is that boy who I think it is?" Kloppman asked.

"Yeah... It's Spot." Faith said.

"Take him upstairs! He needs rest. No pay, he has to recover."

"What about Jack?" Race asked.

"He doesn't own this boarding house." Kloppman told him.

They took me upstairs and laid me down on a random bunk. Jack almost immediately shot us a look.

"What the hell is _that_ doing here?" Jack hissed.

"He has no place to go." Faith said.

"Jack I-" Faith started.

"No get him out!"

"We already got the okay from Kloppman."

"No, Faith. This isn't something-"

"Why we do this in privacy?"

I didn't get to hear most of it. I sank into the bed... It was warm and comfortable. I feel asleep. The next thing I knew Faith was shaking me awake.

"Come on you can stay in the spare room." She said.

"Okay..." I said so weakly it was barley there.

"I'll help you there." She said opening her arms.

We managed to get there. I leaned on her for support. She laid me down on a cot.

"Jack doesn't want you to sleep with the rest of the boys or them to know your here. But you're safer this way anyway." Faith explained. "Get your rest okay?"

I nodded and smiled at her.

"T-thanks." I whispered.

She smiled. "Don't worry about it. Goodnight."

She walked out of the room. I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to Faith entering the room.

"Sorry did I wake you up?" She asked.

"No..." I said. My voice was weak and cracking.

"You have a split lip. Looks pretty bad still." She said studying my mouth.

"What time is it?"

"About one in the afternoon."

"I have to go!" I said instantly.

I gasped. If I didn't get to work I'd be fired! I tried to sit up but I felt sharp pain when I did. Faith put her hand on my shoulder.

"You have to lay down. You need rest."

"I have to get to wor-"

"I'll take care of you for a little while okay?"

"No Faith, I need to go. I can't just live off you. Besides nobody really wants me here in the first place." I went to get up again this time trying ignoring the pain.

"Spot I want you..." She whispered putting a hand on my back. "Stay, please."

I sighed, "I have to go."

I stood and limped to the door of the room do to horrible pain in my right leg.

"Is everybody gone?" I asked.

She nodded. I opened the door and walked out. I headed down the stairs.

"Good morning kid." Kloppman greeted me.

"Morning. I'm heading out. I'll see you another time."

"You sure you want to do that?"

"I think so."

"All of a sudden your scared of Jack Spot?"

I stopped short.

"I'm not scared of Jack." I hissed.

I knew I might have been in truth. But it wasn't really Jack, it was more West (at least that's haw I saw it).

"Your not?" Kloppman said. "Than they are you walking away? Scared of West? Brooklyn?"

"Brooklyn abandoned me." I snarled. "I don't want to hear it."

"Why is that?"

"I didn't ask for therapy."

"Alright go than. Sleep in the streets, it's cold outside. Freezing in the morning, I'm pretty sure you know that. Cold like that isn't heathy."

"I'll be okay."

"Alright fine," He opened the door. "go ahead."

I started to walk out when I heard Faith say, "Spot come on you're going to get worse. I don't need you getting sick on me."

I turned to look at her and sighed, "Jack wouldn't want me here."

"I got a place for you. And don't worry no charge till you're back on your feet." Kloopman smiled. "Now follow me."

He led us to a door in the back of the boarding house where there was a wooden door I'd never seen before, then again I hadn't seen the place in years, maybe I had seen the door before.

"Since when have we had this room?" Faith asked.

"Not a room. A basement." Kloppman corrected. "I always used it for storage, but this seems like a pretty good time to but it to better use."

He opened the door and a puff of dust was blown in our faces.

"It has been awhile since the last time I came down here..." Kloppman muttered. "I'll go up and get that cot from the room upstairs."

He walked away. Faith and I were left alone. The awkwardness of this began to set in. Before I'd seen Faith a few days ago the last words she said to me were: "Go to hell Conlon!". Faith seemed to be feeling this awkwardness too. She stood in silence with her arms crossed starring at the floor.

"We should go downstairs." Faith said.

"Yeah... We should." I said.

Faith started heading down the stairs, I followed closely behind. The entire basement was filled with boxes and crates. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust that caused Faith to sneeze a few dozen times.

"Are you okay?" I asked her after she sneezed another time.

"Yeah, just allergies. How is your leg?"

I looked down at my leg.

"Well it stings when I walk. Other than that it's okay." I shrugged.

"And your lip?"

I touched my lip and felt a burst of pain (not like I'd admit that though).

"It's okay." I mumbled.

"Are you sure? It looks pretty bad.

"I don't think it's that bad." I lied.

Suddenly Faith smirked, "Protecting your ego huh Spot?"

I shrugged, "So what if I am."

"Don't worry about it. Just don't smile for awhile."

I laughed. Kloppman came downstairs bringing th cot with him. He set it down in a corner. He got some blankets out of a dusty crate and laid them on the cot.

"Here it is. Nice cozy basement to your self." He said sarcastically.

"What time is it right now? I want to make sure nobody will know he's here when the boys get back." Faith said.

"It's about two thirty." Kloopman informed her.

"They'll be back soon... I'd better be going now Spot" She whispered. "I'll be back tonight."

She looked at me and I see bitter sweet pity in her eyes.

"Alright." I said laying down on the cot. "I'll see you around..."

"Yeah," She smiled. "see you around."

She and Kloppman walked out of the room leaving me me all alone.


	6. Chapter 6

At around eight at I heard somebody coming down the stairs of my room. Could it be Jack? Could it be Blink or Mush? I sat up straight. Could I hide? Where? If I moved one crate the rest would come tumbling down with them! What would they do to me? Would they beat me like West did? Would they use a knife and mutilate me? If they did I wouldn't be so surprised.

"Hey Spot are you up?"I heard.

Faith finished making her way down the stairs. I let out a breath I was holding.

"Faith... Jesus, you scared the shit out of me." I hissed.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"That's okay. Do you have something to tell me?"

She shrugged and smiled a little bit, "No... I just wanted to see you."

I smiled back, but I was forced to stop do to my split lip. She sat next to me on the cot.

"And I got you something." Faith said.

She held out a newspaper in her hand. I didn't say anything but in truth I hated the damn things. Newspapers "reported" currant events for people's entertainment. Murder, rape for entertainment, sick. Maybe it's more because of Sounds case. Never reported or cared about. It was barley investigated. I wasn't arrested because nobody cared. Not a single paper covered it.

"Yeah thanks." I gave her a fake smile and took the newspaper.

"How have you been- " She cut herself off after looking at some of my bruises.

"How have you been?" I asked quickly not wanting the conversation to get awkward.

"I'm okay I guess." She shrugged.

Innocently Faith pulled up my sleeve and ran her finger over a scar just below the inside fold of my elbow.

"They've faded a lot since the last time I saw them." She whispered.

My scars were from Steel where he had stabbed and slit my skin, two years ago.

"Yeah. It's going away."I said.

I didn't mind her looking at them. She had done it so many times before. I smiled thinking about us. The way we were before everything that happened with West. I'd give anything to go back to that. I smiled down at Faith.

"Spot," Faith said. "don't take this the wrong way. What did West do to you?"

I sighed.

"Graphic or not?" I asked.

"Do you have a problem reliving it?"

"I don't know... Not really."

"Well than you know me well enough."

"Graphic it is. You ready?" I nudged her.

She laughed, "Are you?"

"Alright so I took a walk in Brooklyn-"

"Why did you go to Brooklyn if you knew West would be there?"

"I don't care anymore." I mumbled.

"Be more careful okay?"She said sweetly.

Faith leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Tired?" I asked.

"Yeah. Are you going to tell you what happened to you?"

I thought about it for a minute.

"No." I teased.

Faith rolled her eyes and laughed.

"What did you tell Jacky-boy?" I asked.

"I just told him you left. Simple as that. Racetrack knows you're here that's it."

"Oh really?" I snorted.

She saw the disgust on my face.

"Oh come on, don't hate him. He can be a jerk sometimes when he has any beer whatsoever and he did last night. And don't snort it's obnoxious."

"Oh please-"

"He is my best friend! You know that!" She snapped.

I sat back. The awkward silence that I'd tried so hard to stop suddenly consumed the both of us. "Hey..." I said. Faith looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Faith shrugged. "I'd better go upstairs. It's getting late."

I was disappointed. I wanted her to stay for just a moment more.

"Yeah alright. See you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah, I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Faith walked up the stairs. I laid down on the cot. I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep.

I stood in the tenement. Mrs. Barkov was making me a new scarf..

"The Winter cold is harsh this year." She said.

It's hard to understand her sometimes because of her heavy Russian accent. But I'd gotten used to it. I smiled at her she was a sweet older woman. She will be moving out of the tenement today. I didn't want her to go. I'd be alone. Alone with my father and mother.

She finished the last few stitches and wraps the wool scarf around my neck. I smiled at her. I knew this would be the last few times I'd ever see her. She pulled me into one of her bear hugs. But I didn't mind them I liked them. Mother didn't hug me that way...

"We'll see each other in heaven child." She whispered into my ear.

She releases me and looks at me with a face that I know all to well. Her eyes are filled with pity. She knows about my father. She then picked up her suitcases. I felt my heart drop. She was getting ready to leave. I watched her leave. I counted each step she took. The second she closed the door behind her I cried. I was only three and she was the only one who'd cared for me. She was also the only thing that could stop my father beating me so often. I rushed to hide, I grabbed the covers as if it was a protective shield. Then I ran under the bed and covered myself with the cotton sheets I grabbed. I did this ofter, trying to hide desperately. Please don't let father come in, I thought. I closed my eyes.

Suddenly I heard the door open with a god awful creek. God please don't let him find me. I heard a chuckle... It was my fathers voice.

"Where is little Seamus hmm?" He laughed.

I was so afraid. What would he do this time? Tears streamed down my face.

"Is he over here? Is he over there?" He said.

He got closer and closer.

"Or... Is he over here?"

He grabbed me from under the bed. I let out a screech.

"Something wrong?" He hissed.

He had me in a tight grip! I could barley move. He move his hand up to my neck and squeezing. I couldn't breath! I tried to scratch his hand so that maybe he'd let me go. He only laughed. He just laughed. I coughed desperately. I gasped for air but nothing was in my lungs! I kicked and tried so hard to fight. I was beginning to... well slip away. He smashed my face against the floor.

"Ever since you were born my life has been a living hell!" He shouted.

He let go of my neck. I gasped for air and panted for breath. At least I could breath now. My father kicked me in the stomach. I let out a scream. Hot tears ran down my face.

"Oh whats wrong? Crying you son of a bitch." He mocked.

I was trebling I was so afraid.

I woke up in a cold sweat and breathing hard. I took a deep breath. Oh god what time was it? I would guess maybe one or two in the morning. I took another deep breath. I was so tired but I didn't want to get back to sleep. I didn't need another nightmare. I took one last long deep breath and stood. I needed a walk. I grabbed my cap and put it on. I started to walk out of the room. I started to walk out of the lodging house. I breathed in the fresh air. It was a nice night. I smiled. I walked down the street.

It was cold. Very cold. But I'd gotten used to it. I continued to walk and it felt good to be out. For a few minutes I felt like myself again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! I wanted to let you know in the last chapter Spot is called Seamus. Seamus is the Irish translation for James. I completely forgot to write that in. Thank you.**

_ "The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." _  
_― Maya Angelou, All God's Children Need Travailing Shoes_

I walked slowly savoring the moment. That was just something I hadn't felt in so long... to long. My leg stung and that forced me to stop every now and then. I walked back to the boarding house after about a half hour. My leg needed a rest, badly. I was feeling really tired. I opened the door slowly trying not to make a sound. Then I slipped through the door.

Faith stood glaring at me. I froze from her icy gaze.

"I-I'm sorry..." I stammered.

I didn't want lose my place here. I had a room and a cot, those were things that I hadn't had in a long time. If I lost that I'd be back on the street! No that could _not_ happen. Faith sighed and shook her head.

"Why Spot?" She asked.

"I couldn't sleep. I wasn't feeling well. I needed some air."

"Alright, get back to bed. You can't just walk in and out of here! Do you have any idea what Jack will do to you?"

"Yeah... I know. I should get to bed." I mumbled.

I started to walk passed her.

"Spot," She said catching my arm. "are you okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry so much."

I gave her a smile.

"Are you sure? Do you need me?" She asked.

"I'm okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I walked into the basement. I felt pretty horrible. Faith was keeping me here and protecting me. But I was going out and risking not only myself but her also. Why hadn't I thought of that? I sighed.

Why had I dreamed of my father? I hadn't thought of him for so long... Why now? Once a long time ago he'd tell me, "Seamus one day I'll be rid of you. You'll go to hell back where you came from. My chest felt tight and my head was beginning to hurt.

Maybe I did need Faith... Just to talk to and vent. I opened the door. She was walking up the stairs.

"Faith!" I called.

She turned around and put her finger to her lips.

"Can we talk?" I whispered.

Hesitantly Faith nodded. She walked down the stairs and to me.

"You okay?" She asked sweetly.

She put a head on my shoulder. My head felt like it was throbbing.

"My head hurts." I said childishly.

She put her hand on my forehead and said, "You din't have a fever... Do you feel thirty? Maybe you're dehydrated."

"Maybe I'm what?"

She smirked, "Just tell me if you're thirsty."

"Yeah a little."

"I'll get you a glass of water."

"You and your damn smart mouth words." I joked.

She laughed. Faith was raised as a rich girl but her father beat her after her mother died in childbirth. She ran away at age five. So her vocabulary was better than mine.

"Lay down while I'm gone and try not to think. That shouldn't be that hard for you." She laughed.

I laid down on the cot and closed my eyes. Soon Faith was shaking me awake. Faith was knelling next to my cot.

"Spot you fell asleep." She whispered.

"Oh I'm sorry." My voice came out horse.

"Did you just need some rest?"

She brushed me cheek. I smiled.

"No, no. I'm still thirsty."I said groggily.

She passed me the glass of water. I sat up and took a sip.

"I'll let you get some sleep." Faith said. She started to stand. I grabbed her hand.

"No wait!" I wailed. "Please don't go!"

"Alright, calm down. I won't go anywhere."

She sat next to me. She put an arm around me and wrapped an arm around me. She ran her fingers through my hair.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" She whispered in my ear.

I sighed, "I hate my life..."

She pulled me closer and nuzzled my neck. I took a shaky breath.

"It's okay. I'm here. You're safe." She whispered.

"Faith, I can't take it!" I was about to cry but I didn't. _I couldn't, I shouldn't, _what would Faith think of me?

"Spot, you're okay now. You're okay. Nobody is going to hurt you. I won't leave you. Don't worry. Tell me what made you so upset just now."

"I was thinking about my father and..." I sighed. How could I finish?

"Oh Spot! What made you think about this?"

I looked away feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe it was because I hadn't been held like this for so long. It felt strange now, but still it was wonderful.

"I had a dream..." I explained.

"I've had one of those, a memory."

I nodded. I stayed quiet. I cuddled into her.

"I know how you feel." She said.

I closed my eyes. I felt like a child. I felt small and weak.

"They _all _left me." I whispered.

"I didn't leave you and I won't leave you. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you."

It was true. I did trust her. She took me in when nobody else had. She was there with her arms around me. This was something nobody had done for me in such a long time. Nobody cared. But now somebody finally did. Faith was next to me rubbing my back. Had it really

"I'll stay as long as you need."

"Faith, you should get some sleep." I mumbled.

Although I really didn't want her to leave.

"Are you sure? If you need me to stay, even all night it's fine."

"No I'm fine-"

"Spot I'm not sure if that's true."

I sighed, "I don't know... What if somebody finds us? Faith, go to bed. I'll be fine."

"You have to swear."

I laughed a little.

"What am I five?" I muttered.

"Oh god, just do it!"

"Alright! Fine, fine. I swear."

"Great. Now goodnight."

"Goodnight. I lo-" I cut myself off. That was two years ago.

"What was that?" Faith asked.

"I just said 'goodnight'." I lied.

"Alright, sleep well."

Faith walked out of the room. I sighed. I took a long drink of water and then put the cup down on a nearby create I could use for a night stand. Then I closed my eyes. Soon I drifted off to sleep.

_"People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long."_  
_— Johnny Depp._


	8. Chapter 8

**Please read and review! This has been one of my hardest chapters to write and I would like to know my readers opinions. Thanks!**

I woke to Faith standing over me.

"Good morning. Hungry?" She asked.

I looked down at my self. I was very hungry. I'd thinned in the last to year. I was practically skin and bones. Not like I was alway pretty thin, but more than ever at the time.

"Yeah." I muttered.

"Okay, come on." She pulled on my sleeve.

I smiled and followed her. She led me to the dinning room pulling me by the sleeve playfully. The room had one single long table at the end. It reminded me of the Brooklyn Boarding House. It was one of the similarities the two boarding houses had. I took a deep breath. Faith stopped pulling on my sleeve.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

She looked at me, her face showed concern.

"I'm okay... Just thinking." I answered.

She smiled at me, "Good. We had eggs today for breakfast."

"How did they cook it?"

"Scrambled eggs."

I nodded.

"Sit down. I'll get Kloppman, and he'll bring you some food."

Faith walked away. She walked out of the room. I watched her as she walked. I leaned back in my chair. We were closer, but not as close as we once were. I missed that. She was still detached from me. It wasn't long until she came back in the room holding a plate.

"Thanks." I said taking the plate from her.

I rolled up my sleeve just enough so that the scar showed. I remembered when Steel stabbed me. I remember bleeding and bleeding. That was two years ago. Faith looked at them. I slowly pulled the sleeve down a little to hide the scar. I stuck my fork into my food and stuffed it in my mouth... Salty.

"How's it taste?" Faith cooed.

"It's good." I shrugged.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay."

She sat in the chair next to me. I took another bite of the food.

"So um... I have something to tell you." She muttered.

"What is it?" I asked with my mouth half full.

"Race is coming early. He says he wants to talk to you."

I dropped my fork. I sighed.

"I know you don't like him. Just try to be nice, okay?" She pleaded

I looked down.

"Does he have to come?" I whined.

It sounded childish. I even felt childish.

"I can ask him not to." She said. "Will that make you happy?"

"No I'll... I'll talk to him." I sighed.

She smiled, "Thanks Spot. I knew somewhere in that cold shell you had a soul."

I laughed. She nudged me.

"Why does he want to talk to me?"

"He feels like he needs to..." She searched for the words. "patch things up between you two."

I nodded.

"Please try not to let it get awkward." She pleaded.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry so much about it, okay sweet-face?"

She smiled. Sweet-face was an old nickname I'd had for her.

"Okay. Be patient. Watch your damn temper." She lectured.

"I will."

Faith looked at me for a while.

"Swear it?" She asked.

"Yes, I swear it."

"He'll be coming any minute now. So eat up."

I took a deep breath.

"A-alright..." I stuttered.

Faith put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't be so nervous." She whispered calmly. "He won't tell anyone, including Jack and West."

Jack still didn't know I was here and I wondered what would happen if he found out.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

She gave me a comforting smile.

"I believe you." I smiled back.

"Alright, now eat. It's already two in the afternoon."

I finished eating and then went to the basement. I sat in the bed nervously. I was _extremely_ nervous. My hands shook. What if he told? What if I lost my temper and got Jacks attention? I took a deep breath. No, it couldn't happen! I buried my face in my hands. I was so stressed.

I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in..." I said weakly.

The door opened and Faith poked her head in. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey. I Race is here. I saw him through the window." She smiled.

"Okay." I smiled back to make her happy. She was excited. I could see it. She scurried out of the room. I took a deep breath. I looked down at my shoes. It'll be over soon, I thought.

Knock, knock I heard... Crap. I sat up and started walking up the stairs. I opened the door. Racetrack stood there.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hey." I repeated.

"Can I come in?"

He gestured to the basement. I looked at him coldly. I hesitated. Mostly because I was thinking about saying no. The bad outweighed the good.

"Sure." I muttered.

We walked down the stairs.

"You know," He started. "I've lived in this boarding house since I was five and maybe seen the door of this room once, maybe twice."

"Oh really?" I tried to sound interested, but I wasn't doing a good job. Racetrack sighed.

"I know you don't like me," He said. "but I have things I wanted to tell you. That's why I'm here. I want to clear things up with you."

I stared at him.

"Clear up _what_?" I snarled.

He sighed again.

"It's a long story..." He muttered. "I don't know where to start."

"It's easier if you just spit it out." I said through gridded teeth.

Had he done something? Effected my life on some way?

"Well, first of all I'm sorry about the way I acted the other night." He said in a low, small voice.

I was slightly relieved. If this was how the rest of it would be than I this would be easy. _Easy. _

"That's okay." I tried to give a smile.

"I got more." He whispered.

He seemed afraid to say it. I wondered what it was.

"I-" He cut himself off to think. "I'm sorry about what happened with you getting kicked out of boarding house-"

"Not your fault."

"I know, but still I feel sorry."

"Thank you." I said.

"Still have more." He said laughing a bit now.

I smiled finally. But Race's face fell. He looked away from me.

"So uh... You of corse remember what happened with Steel? When he stabbed you?"

I touched a scar on my arm. That scar was one of the deepest and most painful. I was worried that my bone was cut into. Lucky me I was alright.

"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled.

He whispered something so low that I couldn't understand.

"What?" I asked.

"It's my fault." He said.

I froze. _His fault? _What did he mean? Was it guilt?

"It couldn't have been your fault." I said calmly.

"No! Steel became leader of the Bronx newsies. Then he recruited Queens. You were the leader of Brooklyn and recruited the Manhattan newsies. We planned a to attack without Bronx knowing, just Bronx. But Queens was there. They were there because... I tipped them off. I was drunk! It was an ascendent!"

I stood shocked. What do I say to something like that? How could I even speak?

"Look Spot I'm-" He started.

"No." I said weakly.

I stumbled back. I look at him in confusion. I was in a haze, practically a thick fog. Then almost in a moment the fog lifted and something new set in... _rage. _I narrowed my eyes.

"And you never told me? All that time you knew?" I hissed.

"No I didn't know! I thought he was someone else!"

I glared at him.

"So for two years I've had to wonder why the hell Queens found us and it's all your fault!" I was shouting now.

"Spot not so loud Jack is-"

"Who give a shit?"

"What the fuck is going on?" We heard.

It was Jack, but I was to angry to care.

"Jesus Race you couldn't think to tell me when I was still in Brooklyn? Hell you saw me when I was nearly dead!" I yelled.

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey what the hell is happening down there?" Jack asked.

Suddenly the door swung open. Jack stood glaring at me. He rushed down the stairs and grabbed me by the arm. and pulled me up the stairs. I didn't even protest. What's the point of it?

"Jack just leave him alone!" Faith screamed.

The majority of the newsies stood staring at me with disgusted scowl. Jack ignored her and turned to me, "You want back in the fold huh?" He was mocking me now. He laughed. He pinched the side of me cheek.

"You want to be a fucking charity case now?" He mumbled.

Faith grabbed Jacks shoulder, _"Leave him alone._"

He shrugged her off. Then he looked at her and laughed.

"He's hurt Jack, please." She whispered.

"Don't worry, I was leaving soon anyway." I said. It was really just to make Faith feel better. She'd done so much for me and now she could lose everything.

"Oh really?" Jack through me towards the door, causing me to stumble. All of them laughed at my stumble. Then I realized I was trembling.

"Than go ahead." Jack laughed.

I didn't say goodbye to Faith. She didn't need anymore attention. The newsies snickered.

I opened the door and walked out. Maybe I still had a job.


	9. Chapter 9

It was night now. It had gotten warmer. I was walking quickly despite all the pain in my legs. Then I'm there, the factory. I was still nervous and trembling. They should all be out soon. I leaned on a near by wall. I was hiding in the shadows. I tried to be positive, at least the cold isn't clawing at me anymore.

Then the workers pour out of the factory. None of them see me. Emma walked out with her friends. They were speaking some language. I vague remembered her saying something about her mother and father being Polish. That was when Game walked out. He slipped into an alleyway. I followed closely behind.

"Game!" I called.

He turned around.

"Spot?" He looked at me shocked. "Where have you been?"

"Long story." I mumbled. "Did I lose my job?"

He paused. Opened his mouth to speak then closed it again. Almost like he was finding the words.

"Yes... Forman gave your place away yesterday."

I felt my chest tighten. I took in a deep breath.

"Yeah, I already saw that coming." I said. "Better get going then, look for work."

"You going to be okay Spot?"

"I'll be fine." I tried to sound like I was thriving but I was too stressed and my voice cracked.

"Well if you need anything I'm here."

Where had I heard that before? Faith of corse and where was she now? Back at the boarding house sitting cozy in a warm bed. I envied her for that.

"I'll see you around." I started to walk away.

I walked to my ally. I did the usual inspection, most of my things were gone. I had just a few things now. _Wonderful_. I sat down and buried my face in my hands. It was getting late and cold. I looked down my skin was covered in goosebumps from the freezing air. I closed my eyes. My mouth felt dry. I closed my eyes and made an attempt to ignore the cold.

"Hey." I heard.

I looked up to see Faith standing over me.

"You look cold." She said. "I brought this."

She was holding a scarf in her hands. She kneeled down and wrapped the scarf around my neck.

"Better?" She asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

Even though Faith was being sweet she was I could still feel that separation. It was as if she'd put up alls between us. She was restraining herself, maybe even testing me. How far can he go? I felt a rush of disappointment and anger.

She stood up.

"I needed to get out." She said. "I couldn't stand Jacks talking anymore."

She was keeping her distance. It was almost as if what had happened between us last night had gone away. It was a blip, a pause. I felt hurt... No more then that. I slowly stood.

"What did they say about me."

She paused. Then looked at me straight in the eye.

"Are you sure you want to know?"She asked.

"Yeah."

Faith took in a breath.

"Lets just say they said some terrible, terrible things."

She leaned against the wall across from me. If was as if she was saying, don't come any closer. I could see the discomfort on her face. I glowered. I walked up to her. Close, uncomfortably close.

"Faith," I said. "I'm not your father, I won't beat you."

At first Faith didn't respond. She pulled back her hand and slapped me across the face. But I guess I deserved that. Then she punched me in the stomach. She scratched me and hit me over and over. I can see the anger, the pain in her eyes. She isn't really affecting my body. She is not hurting me. But I know I've hurt her. I felt awful. She reached up and scratched my cheek. This causes me to bleed. I wrapped my arms around her. Maybe it will calm her down.

"Sh, I'm sorry. It's okay, It's okay." I said quietly.

Faith started weeping in my arms. I held her tightly.

"I didn't mean it."

She cried in my arms and wrapped her arms around me. I ran my hand up and down her back.

"Sh... Sh..." I whispered.

I ran my fingers through her hair. Faith nuzzled my neck.

"I'm so sorry..." She said in a weak voice.

"No, don't be."

"Sp-Spot, I really-"

"Faith, none of this is your fault." I brushed her cheek and whipped her tears.

Faith took in a shaky breath. I gave her a smile to calm her. She touched the cut on my cheek and I felt a slight sting.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Her voice is still small and seems fragile.

"I'm okay."

I gently took her hand and pulled it off my cheek. Another tear slips down her face. I watched it as it trickle down her cheek and run down her chin. We were staring at each other in a moment of silence. I felt my heart flutter for a second. I looked down breaking the stare.

"You should be getting back to the boarding house." I cleared my throat.

Faith buried herself in my shirt again.

"I don't want to... I want to stay with you." She whimpered.

"Come on, it's cold. I don't want you to freeze outside. You have to get back."

"Where will you go? What if someone hurts you?"

To be honest I didn't know.

"Don't worry about me. You have to get home."

Faith stared at me. Her eyes filled with pity and sympathy.

"Come on... You shouldn't stay." I gave her one hug.

She sighed, "Alright... I'll see you around, won't I?"

"You know you will." I smiled at her.

Her face lit up, "I'll... I'll miss you."

My heart fluttered again.

"I'm going to miss you too."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

I watched her walk away. I sighed. I really was going to miss her. I sat down by the wall and closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Please review to let me no how I'm doing! Thank you all for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up late. It was not so cold. Yes, it was cold, but not to cold. It was a decent tempter. I sat quietly. All pain in my leg was gone. Maybe Faith would come and talk to me after she sold her newspapers. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I missed her now.

I thought back on what I'd done and how I'd gotten here. The nightmare of the past two years of my life. I thought of Sound's lifeless little body, covered in blood. I remember the night before he died. He told me that he wanted a soda. Just like any little kid would've.

"I'll take you if you want." I told Sound. "Sodas are expensive."

"No, I'm okay."

He started walking away.

"Hey!" I called out.

He turned quickly.

"Be back soon okay? No more then two hours." I said.

"Okay."

He walked off.

Of corse he wasn't back in two hours. I thought that maybe he was out with a few friends. Maybe he'd gone out with some shoe shine boys or factory boys. But morning came... And I found his body. Then people pointed their fingers at me, because I was with him the night before he died and found him in the morning.

Of corse there wasn't enough evidence to convict me. I was the prime suspect in his murder, in the beginning. But I don't have a problem with that. I understood that I might be looked at for a second. But then I was crossed off the suspect list, for the police. But not to everybody else. Once they closed the case there was just me. So I was attacked.

"Do you think they want this _thing _to be their leader?" West whispered to me one night. He gestured at me.

Tensions were already high. They had been for quiet some time.

"I told you I didn't do anything!"

He laughed, "I don't think anyone else feels that way."

We were in the washroom. Everything else was quiet. I wanted to hear nothing. I didn't want to respond. I wanted it to stay quiet. I stood there in front of the sink. I knew if I stayed quiet, he wouldn't go away.

"I didn't do it. Even the cops said so. You saw first hand that I cared about Sound!" I hissed.

"Maybe you didn't care oh so much about him." He shrugged.

He walked away.

Why do I think of things like this? I knew I shouldn't... I closed my eyes.

"Hey Spot!" I heard.

I opened my eyes.

"Hey." I smiled.

Faith stood in front of me. She studied me. I was curled up in a ball to stay warm.

"Are you cold?" Faith asked.

I shrugged.

"Protecting your pride?" She laughed.

"Maybe."

She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me. I blushed. She was warm...

"Jesus you're freezing!" Faith exclaimed.

"Well," I laughed. "that's what happens when you sleep outside at night."

She ran her fingers through my hair. I breathed on her

"What time is it?" I asked.

"When I left it was eleven. Maybe it's eleven thirty."

"You didn't sell today?"

"I did. I just didn't sell that that much."

"You can't just stop selling-"

"I'll sell the evening paper. Will that make you happy?"

"Yes, yes, it will."

She laughed.

"How is everything with Jack... He didn't touch-" I started.

"No. He didn't. I'm fine. He just left it alone. He still doesn't like you though... But I like you."

I smiled at her.

"It's nice to hear that for once."

"Why don't you get out of New York."

I laughed, "I ain't going to some Santa Fe."

"Well I'm not saying that you have to go across the country. All I'm just saying is, don't you ever want restart?"

I paused... Yes I did want to start over. But there was still so much I was leaving behind. I looked down at her.

"Would you come with me?" I asked.

"Would you want me to?"

I smiled, "Yeah, I want you with me."

She looked down.

"Really?"

"Of corse. It would be fun."

"Use a better adjective than fun."

"Jollification."

She looked at me half shocked.

"Four syllable word, I'm surprised."

"Good because you won't be hearing that again, ever."

She laughed.

"Spot, we're taking a walk." She stood.

"Are you insane?" I hissed.

"No come on."

"Where are we going?"

"It'a surprise."

I gave her a smirk. She held out her hand.

"Come on, lets go. Take my hand." She instructed.

Slowly, innocently I took her hand. She smiled. Then she turned and ran pulling me behind her.

"Come on we have to go! Keep up Conlon!" She shouted.

And we ran and we ran and we ran. Faster and faster. We ran through the crowded streets. We practically knocked over people and screamed incomprehensible apologies. Faith stopped and stuffed her hand in her pocket. She pulled out a few cents.

"Here." She gave me the coins.

"Faith, I couldn't." I held it out to her.

She enclosed my hand around them.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine and I will fine. Take the money." She insisted.

I nodded.

"We're getting on the ferry." Faith explained.

"What?" I muttered.

"Everything is going to be fine." I explained.

"What happens if Toss finds me?"

Toss was the leader of the Staten Island newsies at the time.

"Toss isn't involved in all this. He doesn't care."

"He probably doesn't remember me in the first place."

"I think he remembers one of the greatest leaders of all time."

"People seem to forget everything that happened before two years ago."

She put a hand on my shoulder.

"Lets not think like that okay?"

We bought tickets for the ferry. I hated boats... No, I hated water. Made me feel sick. I could smell raw seaweed and see drunken sailors on other boats. This bought me back to a time I didn't want t remember. My father and the smell of whiskey on his breath. My father shipping cargo out sea. My father...

"Hey, you okay?" I heard.

"You know how I feel about boats."

"We'll be there soon Spot."

Slowly, gently I took her hand, weaving my fingers through hers. She looked down at my hand. We let the rest of the ride go on saying nothing.

Once, finally the boat came to a halt. Faith and I walked. Down streets. Richmond was the most suburban of the boroughs. For some reason I really liked that. It was small and quaint. Faith seemed absolutely fine. I wondered how. After all she'd been through, how could she seem so fine. She still held my hand.

"Hey, Faith." I said.

"Yeah Spot." She looked up at me.

I couldn't help but feel the myself blush. I looked down, in an effort to hide the blush on my cheeks.

"Thank you. You've been really good to me." I whispered.

She smiled, "Don't thank me."

"No I should. You deserve it."

Faith stopped and wrapped her arms around me.

"You're so sweet." Faith chirped.

I smiled.

"Where do you want to go?" She asked.

I smiled. I could go anywhere.

"Where do you want to take me?"

"No, come on tell me."

"You know this place better then I do."

Faith chewed the inside of her cheek.

"Come on." She pulled me by the hand and walked with me.

"Where are we going?"

"The beach."

We reached the beach in a few minutes. The beach was mostly deserted. I'd guess that was because of Cony Island in Brooklyn. Not only did Cony have a beach, but it had some of the largest amusement parks in the world. Faith smiled.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

She blushed and looked away.

"Oh come on, tell me."

I touched her cheek.

"I was just thinking about the docks in Brooklyn a few years ago."

"When you asked me to go to Jacks poker game?"

She laughed, "Yeah... I hated you."

I laughed back. She did hate me. I was surprised she didn't hate me now. We hadn't even been in a relationship when Faith visited me on the block that day. We didn't know each other very well.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up..." Faith whispered.

"No, don't worry."

Faith started walking towards the water. Faith took off her shoes. She stood in the wet sand, watching the ocean pull back and then soak her feet. I stood next to her. I stared out at the water.

I felt a ball of wet sand hit my left side. I turned and Faith had all ready taken off running down the beach. I smiled and laughed. I grabbed a hand full of wet sand and ran after her. Once I managed to gat close to her I through it at her back. She screamed and laughed. Faith turned and kicked sand up in my face (thank god I didn't get any on my eyes). As the tide came in I splashed it at her, soaking her. Faith erupted into laughter. Faith splashed me back.

We sat down out of breath, wet and tired. Faith looked out and stayed quiet. She had a serious expression on her face.

"Hey Faith, you okay?" I asked.

I must have snapped her back into reality. She turned to me.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." She gave me a fake smile.

"Come on, talk to me."

I put an arm around her. She stayed silent.

"Please." I whispered.

Faith looked down.

"This just made me think, about us. And it made me think about what happened... Why did you do that to me." Her voice was weak.

"Faith, I'm sorry, you know I'm sorry."

"Why her? Was she perfect?"

I paused. I took in a breath.

"I thought you said we weren't going to think like that today."

She shrugged. I sighed.

"I'm sorry I fucked up with our relationship like I do with everything else! Look I'm sorry that I did that you know I would ever have done that to you if I wasn't drunk up my ass! In the morning I woke up next to some girl _I didn't even know_. I remember some things from that night, but it's mostly a blur!"

Faith stayed quiet.

"I'm so sorry..." I whispered. "Do you hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.

"I'm sorry too." She said.

There were tears in her eyes. I wrapped her a hugs.

"I-I know you didn't mean to." She stammered.

"Faith everything is fine. You didn't hurt me."

The sun was starting to go down, Jack would be angry at Faith if she didn't get back.

"Faith, we should get back to Manhattan, it's getting late. Jack will be mad at you, if you don't get there on time."

"Do you thunk Jack won't notice anything? I'm soaking wet and covered in sand."

"I'm sure we can think up some story on our way there."

"Please, can't I just stay with you?" She asked.

I smiled at her. She wanted to stay with me...

"You know how much I want that, but you're wet and in the middle of the night you'll freeze. Besides I've got you into enough trouble at the boarding house. If they saw you with me... I just want you to be okay."

"Alright. You should really stay here you're safer."

"No, I'm going to walk you home."

I took her hand weaving my fingers through hers. Faith and I walked, rode the ferry back to Manhattan.

"Guess I can't sell the evening paper today." Faith said as I walked her to the boarding house.

I laughed a bit.

"Guess you can't."

"We're a block away from the boarding house. I should start walking back on my own now."

I nodded, "Yeah, I'll see you."

She smiled, "Yeah I'll see you."

Faith started to walk away.

"Goodbye..." I said weakly but I might as well have been talking to my self, because Faith was already walking away.

I turned away and walked.


	11. Chapter 11

I started walking, it was early in the morning and I didn't know where I was walking. I just wanted to walk. The morning was cold and bleak, fog grey sky and all. I wanted to free my mind not think about anything. The morning was cold and I was horrible, sadistic. I thought of Faith and how much I'd hurt her.

"Hey Spot how we doing?" I heard.

I looked over my shoulder. Emma stood behind me.

"_Just leave me alone_." I hissed.

"Oh come on Spot we've got to-"

"No," I shouted. "you got me into this shit! Now do me a favor get the hell out of here!"

Her face contorted into a disgusted look.

"Jesus Spot calm down!" She glowered.

"Just go away..." I muttered.

I started to walk away. My hands shook with anger. I continued walking.

I wanted to see Faith. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was and how I... How I felt. I looked up in the distance, I could see the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance. I looked down, I didn't want to see it anymore.

"Extra! Extra!"

I stopped short. Kid Blinks voice shouted a headline.. I stopped, moving, breathing, but not thinking. I needed to get away, but I didn't move. For some reason I didn't want to move. I wanted to listen.

"Girl teenager dies in Manhattan!" He shouted.

My chest got tight and my mouth ran dry. Was it Faith did someone see us? Did West touch her? If she was dead it was my fault... I couldn't breath! I took off running, faster and faster. I didn't care if anyone saw me. I needed her I needed her to be okay. The streets were beginning to fill. I started to crash into people, I didn't even care.

I knew Faiths selling spot. I found her there shouting out a headline. I ran into her, nearly toppling her over. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank god! Thank god you're alright!" I said.

"Spot, are you okay?"

"I'm fine now."

"What happened?"

"I was so worried, I thought someone hurt you and I-"

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

"I heard the newspaper headline and a girl our age died."

"The case was solved. She was smothered over some dispute she had with a friend."

She touched my cheek.

"Faith, I was so scared."

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm right here."

I took a deep breath.

"I thought West hurt you." I said weakly.

"I've got a few more papers to sell. After that we can talk for a while."

"Okay."

Faith sold her papers quickly and kept an eye on my to make sure I was alright. She turned to me once she was finished.

"I'm done." She smiled.

"How was your night when you got back to the boarding house ?"

"It was okay. I'm fine. How about you?"

"The same." I shrugged.

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No, I'm fine."

She touched my cheek

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I smiled.

She smiled back, "Good." Her face grew serious. "Walk with me there are some things I'd like to to talk about with you."

Instinctively I take her hand weaving my fingers through hers. She looked down at our intertwined and smiled. We started walking.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"Spot... Why do you think you were blamed for Sounds death?"

I took in a sharp breath.

"Easy," I murmured. "I was the last person who saw him and then saw him in the morning."

Just thinking about it sent a chill up my spine.

"There has to be more reasons then only that. I understand you would be under some scrutiny but-"

"Scrutiny?" I asked.

She laughed, "It means critical observation."

"Ah, more of your smart mouth words." I nudged her.

She smiled at me.

"Anyway what I'm saying is there has to be more then only that."

"West jumped on the opportunity to get leader."

"Isn't that just convenient, best friend is under slight suspicion and he then jumps on the opportunity to get first command. It's too convenient."

Faith chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"It's just too simple... Was West ever questioned as a suspect by the police?" She asked.

"He was, but only once. They didn't think that he was a very likely suspect." I explained.

"Well then, I'm going to have to do some digging myself."

Faith squeezed my hand. I looked at her shocked.

"Are you insane? Do you want to get kicked out of the boarding house? Do you want to end up like me?"

I stopped.

"And what is so bad about being like you Spot?"

"There is so much wrong with being me! Seamus Conlon-"

"Seamus...?"

She cocked her head to the left and stared at me. I'd never told her that, I'd always said James. Once I ran away from home everybody just translated my name. But I didn't like that very much either.

"Seamus is James translated." I mumbled.

"And you didn't tell me this two years ago why?"

"Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone."

I didn't feel her hand pull away, but I couldn't be sure if I'd hurt her enough so she'd pull away. I looked down our hands. My fingers were still intwined in hers.

"Spot are you alright?" She asked.

"Yeah... I just... Faith did I hurt you that much? Because you know if I did I'm sorry."

Faith let go of my hand, only to wrap her arms around me.

"It's okay. Right now I'm fine."

"Oh god Faith, I'm sorry..." I said weakly.

"Spot, I'm five now."

"Yes _now_, but not then!"

"That's all in the past now." She whispered in my ear.

She started to run her fingers through my hair.

"I just want this to end..."

I took a shaky breath.

"It's going to end I promise you."

At least we on a street not so densely crowded (at least for Manhattan).

"I can't take it anymore..." I whispered.

"I'm going to stay with you. Will that make you feel better?"

I nodded childishly.

"Okay then I'm going stay, I'm not going to leave you."

I pulled myself together.

"Yeah, thanks." I looked at her.

Slowly she let me go.

"Thanks." I repeated.

"Don't worry." She smiled.

"Really."

I looked at her. I felt my heart flutter in my chest.

"I'm sorry about what happened the first time we talked since this happened..."

"Don't worry, thats all in the past now." I smiled. "So how are you planning to find all this out from West?"

"Not from West. West isn't stupid, he'll catch on. I'm going to ask other newsies around the boarding house in Brooklyn. I'll get answers from the one's I need answers from. I can't get this information, so it'll come slowly, but surely it'll come."

"When will you ask?"

"Every time I get the chance."

Faith started to walk again.

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked and I followed her.

"Tibby's" She answered.

"But the newsies always-"

"The newsies aren't there today. They're in Queens."

"What the hell are they doing there?" I snarled.

Faith shrugged, "Maybe a poker game."

"Don't they remember what happened to-" I cut myself off. I already knew they didn't care. Faith grabbed my hand.

"Hey at least it's just you and me." Faith said.

"What if they came back?"

"I'll take that risk. I'm always on your side, If they found you, I'd go with you if they kicked you out."


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so this chapter was late... Yeah. I'm sorry about that. My computer broke awhile ago (two days isn't really awhile). But thanks to the brilliant people at the apple store my laptop is back! If you're reading my other books I should be posting them later in the week thank you.**

Faith opened the door and took a seat. I couldn't help but notice the awkward stares. For a moment a bit of fear shot through me.

"Faith," I whispered. "do you think someone will tell Jack about this?"

She looked up at me with a affectionate smile across her face.

"Do you remember what I told you?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Exactly, I'm not going to leave you and I'd stay with you if Jack found you."

She took my hand and squeezed it a bit. Then she freed my hand to pick up the menu.

"Alright what are you getting?" She asked.

I shrugged.

"I wouldn't know, I don't have the menu memorized." I joked holding out my hand.

Faith giggled and handed my the menu.

"Thank you." I said. "Alright, I'm getting a roast beef sandwich."

"I hate roast beef." Faith groaned.

"And does that mean I have to hate it too?"

She smiled, "I think you know the answer."

"Okay just so you don't even have to look at it I'll get a stake sandwich better?"

Faith didn't answer.

"Better?" I repeated.

"Is that her?" She asked.

"Who?"

I looked down at my menu again to pick my drink.

"Pyro." She answered.

My head snapped up. She'd just come in. Her mob of kinky florescent red hair was distinctive. She had wood color eyes, lighter then Faiths. I took in a shallow breath.

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

For a moment things were silent. Faith took my hand and leaned on my shoulder. I knew she didn't mean it because she had feelings for me, even if she did it wasn't because of it. I loved the way she leaned on me anyways. I felt heat go to my cheeks.

"Faith, just ignore her okay?" I mumbled.

She nodded. She didn't move she continued to lean against me.

"So _that's_ here, hmm?" Faith hissed.

"Yeah..." My voice cracked. "Sorry."

Sorry was all I could think to say. She stayed quiet.

"Faith, I'm sorry." I said weakly.

"That's o-okay Spot." She stammered.

By the look on her face I knew it wasn't okay.

"No, it isn't." I said.

Faith looked as if she was about to cry. She buried her face into my arm. I stroked her hair. I looked back at Pyro, who glanced at me for a moment. Faith apparently noticed. From far away her being buried in my arm looked like a loving gustier. Pyro had known Faith and I were together before.

"Hey," I whispered to Faith. "you okay?"

I realized she was starring at Pyro.

"_Fine._" She hissed.

I didn't know what to say. I she seemed angry (obviously). I sighed. Faith let go of me.

"What you getting?" She asked coldly.

I cleared my thought, "Told you before, stake sandwich."

"Okay." Faith paused. "I'm taking a walk. Order for me if someone comes."

She stood. I grabbed her hand.

"Be back soon okay? I'll be waiting." I gave her a reassuring smile.

She smiled back.

"Don't worry be back before you know it."

She slid her hand away and walked out the door. I watched her as she walked.

Pyro didn't really matter. But I looked over at her for a moment thinking back. What I did was disgusting. She was new in Brooklyn. I remember the first time her and Faith met. She didn't show it, but she didn't particularly "like" Pyro. She didn't say it to me, but I could tell. Whenever she was brought up in a conversation Faith would just stay quiet in the corner. If she was asked about Pyro she'd just say, "I don't know, she's alright.", then shrug. Pyro didn't work with the newsies long after that night.

I looked down at my hands. What did it even matter anymore? Why did I really have to sit here and think-

"Long time no see huh?" I heard.

I snapped my head up.

"Pyro... Yeah, it's been a while." I said awkwardly.

How the hell did she get over here so fast? Faith was going to hate this.

"So," She took Faith seat and I felt my stomach churn. "how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." I muttered. "You?"

"I'm alright." She shrugged. "Where you working now?"

I cleared my thought, "No where... As of now I'm looking for a job."

I chewed my lip. I was anxious for Faith to get back.

"Been there, done that." She said.

I nodded.

"You're still with that Manhattan girl huh?" She asked. "For what two years?"

I want so badly to say yes.

"No, we're just friends." I said.

"Oh," She sat back and smiled. "well then."

I felt my chest get tight. I smiled back, of corse the smile was fake. In reality I was beyond stressed. I looked out the window again my eyes scanning the streets for Faith. What the hell could be keeping her there for so damn long?

"Yeah..." I muttered.

I nervously tapped my foot, maybe I was trying to distract myself.

"So, how are you doing for yourself? I mean if you have no job, how are you making money?"

"Faith is helping me mostly. She's good with that." I explained.

"Well that's sweet."

"Very."

I continued to stare out the window. I saw her! Thank god! She was walking towards us, but she was at such a distance she looked like an ant. At least she was coming. Pyro was going on about something that I didn't care about, so I wasn't listening to. In a few minutes Faith walked in. Her eyes instantly fixed on me. At first she seemed disheartened. Help me! I mouthed. She stood for a moment, seeming to ponder on her options. Then a smirk was upon her lips and walked over to my table.

"Hi," She smiled. "your name is Pyro right?"

Pyro's head snapped up. She bit her lip.

"Yeah... Pyro." Her words came out muffled from her lip chewing.

"It's been two years huh?" Faith continued.

She sat down in the seat across from Pyro nonchalantly.

"Yeah."

I stayed quiet in the coroner. Faith had no intention of having Pyro leave. I sank down in my seat in a weak attempt to make myself seem small somehow. I twiddled with my thumbs uncomfortably. I felt extremely abashed, strained and fazed. Also dreadfully sick.

"Isn't that right?" Spot I heard Faith say.

"What?" I gasped. "I-I mean my mind when blank, sorry."

"Pyro and I were just talking about that time you pushed Mushed into the ocean on that docks. You remember that right?" Faith explained.

"Oh yeah."

Pyro seemed to be increasingly unnerved. Pyro cracked her knuckles every now and then and chewed her lip for the majority of the conversation (not like I could blame her). Faith on the other hand was the exact opposite. She was completely at ease and self-possessed.

"Well, I'd better get going. Chatting with you guys was a lot of fun." Pyro said after a time.

She gave Faith and I a quick fake smile and then retreated out of the small eatery.

Faith gave me a smirk and a moment of odd silence. She picked up the menu and stared at the content, her eyes flickered from the menu to me.

"I'm getting a sandwich okay?" She chirped.

I simply nodded, embarrassed and sick with myself. Her face fell. Sympathetically Faith came around the table and sat next to me. She looked at me with eyes filled with pity.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek.

I blushed.

"No, I did wrong. You're allowed to get your revenge... I'm sorry I slept with Pyro."

There was a pause, brief but still there.

"That's... That's okay." She whispered.

I smiled. It was so nice to be wrapped in someones arms. I guess I took that for advantage too.

"Thanks Faith."

"Now come on, enough with the depressing stuff." She unwrapped me from my arms. "You still hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then lets order something. How long is this going to take the waiter?"

I laughed.

In about an hour or so, we were out of Tibby's. We were walking to my ally. Slowly I took her hand.

"Spot, you okay?" She asked giving me a warm smile.

"Fine."I squeezed her hand. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm sorry that I-"

"No."

She looked at me with her head turned to the right side.

"What?" She asked.

"No, don't be sorry."

"I just feel bad."

"Use a better adjective than bad."

She laughed, "Inferior."

I smirked.

"Not bad." I said.

We reached my alleyway within a moment or so.

"Alright you'd better get going." I sighed.

I didn't want her to go. I desperately wanted her to stay.

"I said I wasn't going to leave you." She smiled.

"You did didn't you?"

"You know it."

She wrapped her arms arms around me. My heart pounded as if it was going to come through my chest.

"Faith..."

"Yeah?"

"I want to tell you something."

"Go on."

I was going to tell her how I felt. I took a breath.

"I... I-"

"You what?" She giggled.

"Never mind, I mean... It doesn't matter."

I cleared my thought.

I knew I should have said it, but I didn't. I love you.

_"Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit it openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But the one thing about human beings that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within."_

_-Sigmund Freud_


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up in the morning with Faith's head sleeping on my shoulder. I smiled. I stared at her. Then suddenly her eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning." I whispered.

"Top of the morning Seamus." She smiled.

"You do realize Irish people don't say that."

She laughed. It was warm out that day. That was good for Faith because I was worried she would freeze over night.

"It wasn't that bad." Faith said.

"It was better then usual."

Faith paused and took a hard swallow.

"Do you think Jack is looking for me?" She asked.

"I would guess."

"I need to hide you then."

"You didn't think about that before this?" I laughed.

"It's not like I haven't, I just didn't know where to keep you."

"So where am I going?"

Faith stood and held her hand out to me.

"Come on." She said.

I grabbed her hand.

"We should take the back alleyways," I told her. "it's safer for you."

She laughed, "You don't even know where we're going."

"I don't know, but at least I try to keep you safe."

She looked down and smiled.

"You're so sweet."

"Thanks."

"Don't worry I'm sure we'll be able to blend into the crowd."

Faith started to walk but I didn't move. I tugged on her hand to bring her closer.

"Spot whats wrong?" She asked.

"Where are we going? I'll take you there."

Faith raddled off an address. By then I knew how to get anywhere in the city with out being seen. I took her through back alleyways and twists and turns. She told me if she knew a newsie sold around there.

"Not to many newsies work around where we're going. So we won't have to worry so much." Faith explained.

In a few minutes we were there.

"Here we are." Faith said.

"A dress shop?"

I cocked my head to the side as if I was a dog trying to understand. It was a small quaint dress shop.

"It's my aunts. You've been here before remember?"

"No." I said bluntly.

"It was when we were together and that was a long time ago. Besides I'm sure you'll remember once we're inside."

We walked inside and a small bell above the door sounded. The walls were a sky blue and there was a small oak wood dest. We were surrounded by wracks of dresses, shelves covered in gloves and shoes, wracks of corsets and a shelf of pendants. To be fair the place did seem pretty familiar.

"Sally!" Faith called. "Are you here?"

Sally I knew her that was her aunt. A woman came from the a back room. Her hair was in a messy bun and her cloths were wrinkled from a long day working in the shop.

"Hi," Sally said.

She wrapped her arms around Faith. She turned to me.

"Spot Conlon, I was wondering when I'd ever see you again." She held out a hand for me to shake, and so I did.

"It's nice to see you again."

Sally had no accent, none at all. She didn't even have a slight one that came in every now and then, like Faith. That was because she had money, she wasn't filthy rich but a bit higher then middle class (I wasn't even middle class).

"We need you're help. Spot need somewhere to stay." Faith explained. "I mean I know you're apartment is crowded-"

"I could stay in the store. I'm used to sleeping on the street, so anywhere is fine." I interrupted.

"We have the back room and I have an old mattress I was going to throw out." Sally said.

"That's fine and I can work and help around the shop." I gestured to some of the unorganized shelves.

She smiled.

"Well, I could use that." She giggled. "I could really use that. I'll go and get the back room set up."

Sally walked away.

"You're working in a dress store." Faith snickered.

I nudged her and smirked.

"Hey at least you'll be able to sell again."

"Unlike the other newsies I actually save my earnings."

"I'm proud."

She smiled.

"Thanks." She said.

"No, don't thank me. Without you I wouldn't even be here."

She blushed.

"Alright! I'm done!" Sally shouted.

She walked over to us.

"We just need the matters, it's at my apartment." Sally explained.

"I understand." I said. "I don't mind sleeping on the floor-"

"No, I was going to say that I should get it here soon."

"Oh." I laughed.

"I'm going to head out and go get it. She you guys in a about a half hour."

She walked out the door.

Faith and I walked into the back room. It was just the two of us, alone. There was no one on the streets who could look at us. The timing was perfect. I could just tell her tell her everything. Faith was examining some storage boxes at her feet.

"Faith I want to talk to you, this is important." I said.

Her head snapped up.

"Yeah, what is it?" She asked.

I had no idea how to say it. My heart was pounding. I looked at her, then the floor, then her, then the floor again.

"You look nervous." Faith giggled. "Are you okay?"

"You could say that." I laughed.

I leaned against the wall. I had her undivided attention now.

"Faith, I love you."

No response. I wrapped my arms around her and brought my lips to hers. She had her hands wrapped around me now. She ran her hands through my hair. I slowly pulled away. Faith smiled and blushed. I brushed her cheek.

"Do you love me back?" I asked jokingly.

"I think you know I do."

I smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

"Am I interrupting something?" I heard.

Faith and I turned to to see Sally standing in the door.

"Oh, well..." Faith laughed. "In a way."

Sally smiled, "Well I was only here to get bring in the mattress... If I can fit it in the doorway."

"I can help you with that." I volunteered.

Sally and I moved the mattress into the room.

"I think I'm going to leave you two alone now." Sally said as she neared the door.

Faith nodded. Sally slipped through the door. I lied down on the mattress.

"I haven't slept on a mattress in so long! This is amazing!" I shouted.

"Not so loud!" Faith laughed.

Faith laid down next to me and rested my head on my chest.

"Guess what." She said.

"What?"

"The newsies are going to Brooklyn tomorrow, and I'm going to gather some information."

"You need to be careful. If they find out about us they could hurt you!" I hissed sternly.

She kissed me in an attempt to calm me.

"Don't worry about us." She whispered.

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"Well, don't worry about me."

"But you worry about me, don't you?"

"Of corse."

"So, you see my point? I can't stop worrying about you."

She sighed and kissed my cheek.

"Ti amo." She whispered into my ear.

"I have no idea what you just said." I smirked.

"It means I love you in Italian." She explained.

"Learned that from Race?" I asked.

Even though I still had a deep searing loathing for the boy, I was far to jubilant to care.

"No, I read, and I just so happen to be Italian. Race is twenty-five percent Irish." Faith clarified.

"Yeah but your family has been in America for how long? I didn't know Race was Irish. I thought you were Dutch?"

"Did you honestly think the name Higgins was Italian? Yes, I'm _mostly Dutch._"

I shrugged, "I don't know he just looks like it."

"I thought you would know that. I mean you're so Irish."

"Isn't you saying I'm so Irish hypocritical?"

"I don't know..." She laughed.

Her expression changed suddenly.

"What time is it?" She asked.

She seemed seemed nervous.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What time is it Spot?"

"I wouldn't know. Faith what's wrong? Are you-"

"I'm fine. I'll be right back."

She flung open the door and scurried out, leaving the door open.

I sat in a whirlwind of confusion. It was far beyond odd that Faith had just had a gush of fear and walked away. It was completely out of character for her... Something was wrong, it had to be. Faith walked back into the room. Her hands were stuffed into her pockets and she stared at the floor. I stood and walked over to he.

"You okay Faith?" I asked.

I brushed her cheek. She looked up at me.

"I have to go, I'll be back tomorrow. Don't do anything stupid. Be careful." She instructed.

I smirked. I leaned in and kissed her lips.

"I won't do anything idiotic. You be careful too. I love you so much. I'll be waiting for you." I whispered.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me and for a long time we just held each other.

"I'd better get going." She said after awhile.

"Alright. Bye."

She lifted her hand to my cheek.

"Bye."

She let her hand down from my face and walked away. I closed the door. Alone again.


	14. Chapter 14

I stirred woke. I didn't even want to move. I was in my glory. I was laying on a stained spring mattress somebody was about to throw out and I was loving every minute of it. I sat up on the mattress. Last night before I'd gone to bed Sally had supplied me with a towering stack of blankets. It was nice to have something to cover you in the morning that wasn't rain.

I rubbed my eyes. I knew it was time to become alert about now. I stood up and walked outside. The shop was empty, not a soul to be seen. Sally would be there soon. I thought if I remembered correctly the store opened at about seven o'clock. Outside the sun was rising. It must have been about six or six thirty in the morning. It was early. I'd gotten used to this time though. It was about the time I'd wake up to work at the factory.

I washed my face in the bathroom. Running water was nice. I smiled and let out a sigh of contentment. Everything was the way it should be. Now it was all correct... Sort of. Not completely but to a degree, yes. That degree was satisfactory. I raised the towel to my face and dried. I didn't even hear it when the door opened and Sally's head popped in.

"Good morning!" She chirped.

I gasped, startled. I wasn't surprised to see her, after all she did work in the store and own it.

"Hi." I said in response.

"I decided to get an early start today. We still have a half hour before we open, you could take that advantage and rest." Sally offered.

"No, I'm wide awake already."

"I need coffee already." She joked.

I laughed.

"I know how you feel." I said.

I looked around the store, my eyes scanned it analyzed it.

"Would you want me to clean up around here?" I asked.

She turned to me and smiled.

"You would do that?"

"Yesterday I said I'd help out. It's respectful." I shrugged.

Not only that, but the place was a dump and I needed order, while I still could have it. I was being a complete perfectionist, without anybody knowing. It felt strange to have control over a situation again. I was cleaning a store, but still controlling something.

"Alright than. You should probably take care of my selves first, then the dress wracks. If you want to look at the dressing rooms you can, but they look fine to me." She then sighed. "I'm sorry the store is such a disaster. I've been so busy and..." Her voice trailed off.

"Not a disaster at all." A small white lie can brighten up one's day. It must have worked because her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"You're a cilil boy, aren't you?" She grinned.

"Perhaps." I shrugged. "why don't you enjoy your time out. Don't worry if you're late I'll take care of it."

"You can lace a corset?" She laughed.

"Well I can try..."

"You won't have to worry about that, I'll be here when the store opens. I'm going for a walk, if you need me I'll probably be in Central Park." She told me.

"Okay."

She smiled, nodded and walked out the door.

I looked around. I had work to do. I rolled up my sleeves. I organized the shoe shelves based on size. The dresses were organized based on color. The dressing room, shockingly actually were fine, so I'd left them alone. I'd gone through the rest of the store. I even swept the floors. You probably didn't think I had it in me did you?

When I was finished I sat down in a chair and looked over my work. I smiled. Faith said she'd come to see me today. Maybe she'd be proud of the work I'd done. I was sure she'd be here soon. I would wait as long as I had to. I let out a sigh at the thought of it. I loved her. I wanted her so badly to come. I was so worried about her though. Going out to Brooklyn might get her maimed. The faster she came the better.

Snapping me out of my thoughts was the sound of the bell above the door chiming.

"Fai-" I cut myself off.

Sally had walked in. My heart sank.

"Sorry to disappoint. It's only me." Sally shrugged.

"No, don't worry about it. Faith just said she was coming today, after she did some things." I explained.

"Oh, she didn't tell me."

"She must have forgotten. She did walk out pretty fast yesterday."

"She did." Sally took a look around the room. She smiled, her face seemed to tell me how surprised she was. "You did this on your own?"

"Yeah." I said proudly.

"It looks like we just opened."

I smiled, "Thanks."

"Just being honest."

"No really, thanks for everything. You taking me in is amazing."

"Don't worry about it! It wasn't so difficult."

"Yeah, but you and Faith are the only ones who have been good to me for a long time."

"Spot, that's very kind. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't worry about anything."

"Thanks." I said in a low voice.

She smiled. I stood up and started to walk to my room.

"Sally you'll let me know if Faith comes won't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll tell you."

"Thanks again." I said.

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. Then I sat on the mattress. I stared at the door waiting eagerly. Minutes ticked by, minutes turned into hours... I didn't move. I stayed sitting on my mattress. Maybe she was late, she had to be late! The door creaked open.

"It's getting late... You want to get some rest?" I asked.

I sighed and looked down.

"Do you think she's coming?" I asked wearily.

"Maybe Faith is running late, I'm sure you'll see her tomorrow."

"Alright." I nodded.

She smiled and walked out of the room. I let out another sigh and slipped between the pile of sheets and the mattress.


	15. Chapter 15

**It's been awhile... I've had so many issues with school lately. I'm going to try to update more often. **

Finally a warm day. If it were any other day I would have been outside, basking in the warmth of the sun. It actually felt like weather had had caught up with the season.

There was a knock at the door.

"Who's there?" I asked.

My voice was still raspy from sleep.

"It's Faith, can I come in?" She pleaded.

In an instant I sat up. She sounded frantic.

"Doors unlocked." I shouted.

A frazzled Faith walked into the room.

"Faith are you okay?" I asked.

I studied her, she looked as if she hadn't slept, her hair was still wet from getting ready that morning.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We have to go!" She shouted.

"What?"

"We're leaving. Get your things."

"I don't- Wh- why?" I stammered.

Faith took a breath to collect herself.

"I have to get you out of New York." She said, her voice much softer.

"I don't understand why."

"The boys last night were talking about you, they were going to look for you..." She whispered.

She didn't have to finish. I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sure they didn't mean what they said." I whispered into her ear. "They were drunk weren't they? Don-"

"No!" She shouted suddenly. "They meant it every word! Spot,_ they're going to hurt you_."

I brought one of my hands to her cheek, feeling her soft skin with my fingers... That feeling. _Electrifying._

"You worry to much." I said.

Slowly I brought my face closer to hers. She placed a hand to my mouth.

"Take me seriously." She said sternly.

I nodded, "Talk to me."

"We need to get you out of New York."

"Alright I'll go upstate, that won't be a-" "Not out of the city out of state."

My eyebrows came together to from a mine.

"Have you gone insane?" I muttered.

"There are other newsies all over the state, you know that."

"Where are we going? New Jersey?"

"To close." She answered. "I was thinking of Connecticut."

"I-I can't go to Connecticut. I don't know how the hell to live there.I'll be in what? Some small town? I don't know how to live like that!" I stuttered.

I think I might have been pleading to stay. That doesn't make any sense. There was to much history for me to leave. How could I?

"If I go, are you coming with me?" I asked.

Faith came closer.

"I can't... I don't have the money..." She whispered.

I pulled her to my chest. I brushed my lips against her forehead.

"I can't go then." I stated.

Her head snapped up. The look of fear on her face. I sighed.

"Oh god..." I murmured. "It's that bad huh?"

"Yeah. It's so frightening. I need you to be safe."

Her words were like a knife in my chest, painful but striking all the same. The realization dawned on me as I looked into her eyes.

"Will you at least write me?" I asked hopefully.

Her face broke into a smile and she brought her face closer to mine.

"Don't stupid questions." She whispered.

She then kissed me. I slowly pulled away. I couldn't help but stare at her. Trying to save this image in my mind. I tried to memorize the way she looked right there.

"Are you alright?" She asked. Faith placed a hand to her head. "That was idiotic, of corse you're not alright. For god's sake I'm not alright."

I kissed her forehead.

"It's okay." I smiled. "I was just thinking...

It was a fake smile, but anything to make Faith feel better. Faith smiled, a small smile, but still a smile. She wrapped her arm around me. I melted into it. I let out a sigh. Her hand made it's way from my back to my chest. She slipped something into my pocket. She kissed my cheek.

"Till the end of time." She whispered.

Her hushed tone sent my heat a blaze. My a fire burned inside me, her eyes sent me into a frenzy, of a sort. I was able to keep myself restrained, but now the fire seemed to burn now. How long until I see her again? I took a breath... I placed my head against hers.

"Did I tell you how much I love you?" I asked.

"Well, yes... But I wouldn't mins hearing it again."

I pressed my lips against hers. I moved kissed my way from her lips to her neck. She let out a small chuckle. I love you, I thought to myself, I love you, I thought, so much. I can't help myself around her.

"Spot? Honey?" Faith asked.

I kept my face borrowed into her neck. I was smiling now, genuinely.

"What is it sweetheart?" I said, my voice so low it seemed barely there at all.

"Don't forget this." She whispered.

I lifted my head (which felt heavy now) and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Don't forget me while your gone." She pleaded.

She seemed broken, maybe a piece was missing. A bird without the ability of flight or a child without mother... Maybe that was

"No," I whispered. "no, I will never forget you. I love you so much. How could I ever forget you? You're all I think about. You mean everything to me."

I brushed her cheek.

"Until the end of time." I reassured her.

I pulled the item that Faith had placed in my pocket. The train ticket. It left in two hours.

"Why don't I just stay in Staten Island?" I asked, my voice hopeful.

"And where do you think the newsies are today? We've stirred something lately... They're reacting to it. We're going to try to get to the train station there. It's the best way out."


	16. Chapter 16

**I am more than sorry about my absence. In NYC (i live in NYC) tests have ended, so I will be writing ever week.**

* * *

The train wasn't what I expected it to be. The others on the bus don't really seem to care about the other obviously. They sit within a great distance a great distance of each other and don't seem to feel comfortable anywhere near each other. When they are force to be within some sort of close distance the become tense and sometimes become visibly smaller. I don't think I could ever be so afraid of people.

Faith cave me a kiss goodbye and then I left. She doesn't know anyone in Connecticut. I'm going to be alone, all alone. I'm scared to be out there... Doesn't that sound twisted from me? You see, when I look back on my life... Say three years prior to this, I knew I would have never seen myself anywhere I'd somehow end up. That's the funny part...Well, it's the funny part to me at least. I really thought that in the end, I'd stay where I was, leader of Brooklyn, Faith at my side and he world at my fingertips. I was so immature back then.

I can't believe I can see it all so clearly. It's more like a moving photograph than picture stills. There are no smudges or accidental paint bleed like some watercolor painting. It's all so vivid. I can still recall those people shrink as they walked by each other. I can even remember Faith as if she was in some sort of colored image, moving so lively I can remember the beautiful way her hair moved in the wind ever so slightly. When I was getting on the train I stared at her with intercity, just incase I lost the beauty. She brought her hand to her brow to block the sun from her eyes. I took a hard swallow. Would she be gone? I hoped not, prayed not (I don't even believe in god).

But now I'm on the train to my lonesome, going to a place I've never been. Faith told me she'd been there before. The stop was at a small town. I don't know how or when I'll fit in in and feasible way. There would be people there... Nobody would be like Faith or Game. Nobody would be what I wanted them to be in the end, I knew that. I guess that's something to live by.

I couldn't stop thinking about when I would get off, when I'd see Faith again. What if they hurt her? Would Race tell? Would they come and find me? I don't think I cared about myself so much at that point though. I don't think I'd mind if they found me. I was tired of running. They can catch me, I'd stopped caring. As long as Faith was okay, I was happy.

I hadn't even realized it but my fingers were digging into the leather seats. I stretched out my fingers and released a sigh. Nervous was an understatement of how I felt at the moment. I realized the hands I had just stretched were trembling. I don't know if it's where I'm going or what is gone that is making me shake. Maybe it's both.

I wasn't even sure what state I was in. Hopefully I was close. Maybe I'll be there soon. I looked back, I couldn't see any of what symbolized home to me. There were were no buildings or bridges... I think that was when it began to sink in, I was alone.

I shut my eyes. The train would stop stop soon, I hoped.

Once the train came to a stop, I sighed. Home was far gone. I sighed and hit my head against the back of the chair. I swallowed whatever remainder of pride I had and stood. I silently walked of the bus with my head down. If you looked at me, you might have thought I was being escorted to prison.

I step out and I can see grassland as far as the eye can see. How am I supposed to find my way around here. There is only one way I suppose, walk. I moved slowly. My legs seemed to walk for me. It looks more like Spring here, leaves on trees, flowers, so on, so forth.

Faith had suggested I bring my clothing and other things, but I declined. I didn't really have much. As I walked I realized how stupid that choice was. Now I had nothing. The ground beneath my feet were muddy and think like clay, caking around my shoes. I knew it was probably from heavy rainfall.

I found myself at a brook and sat down at a dry spot of ground. I tried to think out the next few months of my life. I was completely lost, I couldn't think of anything. I buried my head in my hands. In New York, I would die... But at that moment I thought it would be better than this uncertainty. I would be with Faith, working in a dress shop, not to bad. I smiled for a moment.

"I won't forget you." I whispered, as if Faith were there.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Faith was my singular need. I'd go on so I'd see her again. She'd be fine, wouldn't she? _Wouldn't she? _She had to be, she just had to be. I opened my eyes. Just a minute has probably passed, I am in the same place, I wish so badly that I wasn't. I stood and sighed.

"You alright over there?" I heard.

I turned and saw a man standing there. He wore a wool pants colored in dirt and a plaid shirt. His mouth is spread into a smile. He didn't look to old, he didn't look to young.

"You look a little lost." The man said.

"I am a little lost."

"You looking for something, or someone?"

"No." I answered.

"You know where you're going?"

I shook my head in response.

"That's some accent you got there. What are you from New York?" He asked.

I nodded and smiled, "Yeah, Brooklyn."

"That is quiet a trip you took than, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I came by train though. Not so long if you come in that way."

"Brought a train here with no intentions of going anywhere?"

"Well yeah, but... I-it's a long story."

"Do you have anywhere to stay for the night?"

I shook my head again.

"Kind of peculiar, doesn't that sound?" He asked.

I felt my chest get tight and my hands clammy. I chewed my lip and nodded, "It's very, very complicated."

"Well," He said. "I'm not one to let a boy of your age suffer out here all night. How about you come home with me?"

I smiled, "_Really?_" I was shocked. Just a bit of kindness shook mw to the core. I'd only expect this from Faith and Sally.

"Yes Really."


	17. Chapter 17

"Thank you." I said again before entering the house.

I'm not sure how many times I said that on the way over. Maybe I said it a million times. The man's name is William. He has wife name Eleanor and a child named April. April is house was near barn.

"You have animals?" I asked.

"No, crops."

"Oh..." I smiled.

"But, the next one over does. It's a horse farm there, April heads over there often."

My hand reached out for the door, but I stopped myself. I bit my lip, I was slightly nervous... If this was two years prior, I would have gone in without a single care in the world... But it wasn't obviously, now I was more reluctant with everything. Just going into a house frightened me to a degree, my palms were damp as proof. Sensing my hesitation William said, "Go on in, my family doesn't bite." as some sort of support. I gave him a nod and smile. I took a breath and opened the door.

The door opened to reveal a kitchen and a women and a child at a table in the center of the room, obviously his family. They gave me an odd look and froze in time as if they'd become marble. I took a hard swallow, I'll never forget those excruciating few increasingly awkward seconds. It was almost as if you could feel a stifling heat in the room grow with each agonizing moment.

"W-William told me I could stay here for the night." I stuttered, my voice hoarse from nerves.

Relief seemed to fill the air. Eleanor gestured for me to sit.

"Thank you." I said while sitting.

It seemed odd to me how the door wasn't locked when I'd entered. In New York we'd always locked our doors. Also they'd just let me in. I could infer that they'd done this before (many times before), by the way they'd so quickly eased when I'd told them that I was William had given my permission to stay.

"And do you have a name?" Eleanor asked.

"Well of corse he has a name, boys just don't live nameless, at leased not at his age he's..." April said. She searched for the word and gestured to me as if that was some kind of explanation. "He's just big."

She was probably trying to look for some kind of better vocabulary word than big. She had a bit of maturity beyond her years... I liked that. Her mother gave her a slightly stern look and turned back to me. April released a sigh.

"It's James." I said, my voice nearly a whisper.

I couldn't think of anything else. Spot sounds laughable to someone who doesn't know me and Seamus forced me to remember.

"Ah, James. That's a handsome name for a boy like yourself." Eleanor chirped.

"Thank you."

I was trying (in an absolute vain attempt) to make my accent less prominent, trying to make it slight like Faith's was. That thought sent my thoughts to Faith, standing there at the train tracks. My breath ceased for a moment.

"Well is there anything I can get for you? If you need anything please just ask." She said.

She seemed to be a lovely woman. On the spot I could guess that she was a doting mother, loving house wife just by her mannerisms. She was probably also an elegant, yet responsible hostess.

It was then I realized that April, had beed staring at me with an intense curiosity, making me uncomfortable. It was if she was trying to dissect me in her own mind. For a moment I locked eyes with the small child who's eyes were a vibrant, potent green. I broke the stare and turned back to Eleanor.

"No thank you, I'm fine." I answered.

"Are you weary? The room we keep guests in the room all of the way down the hall, you couldn't miss it if you tried."

The idea of making my way around the house and learning my way around it was alluring. If I was going to stay at anyone's home, it is always best to know where you're going.

"I do think I need a rest. Thank you again for all this."

I stood and began my search for the staircase.

"Oh and what was your last name?" Eleanor's voice asked from behind me.

"Conlon," I answered. "James Conlon."

I found myself not wandering for very long. Not far from the kitchen there was a parlor, which had a stair case I was looking for. I stopped for a moment to analyze the parlor room. It was a plain white color, with two sofas, paintings, basically exactly what middle class parlors looked like at the time. I looked up at the ceiling briefly... Nothing. There were no leaks though, no cracks. Faith had taught me that when you're rich (note that Faith was richer than those at the house in the story I am telling you) you have your ceiling done in all kinds of fantastic ways. Faith had told me once she'd seen that the ceiling was a painting done by some famous artist, some french fellow whose name I don't recall.

I turned back to the stairs. Something caused me to pause just before I was about to go up. It was the itch that must be scratched, I suppose. The thought... this idea made my heart jolt. It was necessary. I turned and hurried back to the kitchen.

"Hello, excuse me." I called.

Only April was there now and she turned to give me that same odd intense look.

"Do you have a piece of paper and a pen I could use? I-I need for-"

"Explanations are unnecessary." The girl said as she hurried off.

_This girl is just odd..._

In a moment she was back, paper in one hand, fountain pen in the other.

"Thank you." I said, forcing a smile.

She walked away without saying the usual 'you're welcome' you'd expect.

I walked back upstairs and to the upstairs and down the hallway that Eleanor had spoken of. I opened the door and studied the room. It was small, but it had a desk and a bed, that was all I needed. I sat at the desk and placed the paper down. How do I begin a letter to my loved one? I let my fountain pen hover above the page for a short time.

_Faith, _

_I'm fine and am living with a family who took me in the moment I stepped off the train. I hope everything is fine back home. In a strange way, I terribly miss New York. Here it's nice, It's a farm with crops._

_I miss you so much. I have to say that it all seems a bit duller without you there._

I sighed and stopped my hand. It was so difficult for me to express my longing for her on a sheet of paper. I was never really good with words (not until now anyway). I rubbed the shaft of my nose, frustrated. She probably wouldn't be able to read my distorted handwriting in the first place. Leaving my heart's notes in ink wasn't working out as expected. I placed my pen to the paper again.

_I deeply need you with me right now, but even though you're not here I know you are in spirt and soul. _

Was I sounding too corny with that? Was it over used? I didn't want to make it sound careless. Nervously I twirled the pen between my fingers. I let out a groan of exasperation and slumped back in my chair.

"Unsatisfied?" I heard from behind me.

I turned to see April in the doorway.

"No, not at all. I'm just... I'm frustrated... I'm a bit lost that's all." I mumbled.

The girl still seemed strange to me, but I pushed that out of my mind.

"With what? The house? My mother wanted to know." She questioned.

"_No, no._ It's something different." I said.

She scurried over (the first childlike act I'd seen her do). She peered over my shoulder.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" She pressed.

"Nothing important," I pulled it to my chest. "you wouldn't be interested."

She released a sigh as if saying 'well I seem quite interested don't I?'.

"No, really," I protested. "you wound't like it. It's very unsuitable."

"For who?"

"Everybody..." I muttered, giving up.

"Ah, I see." She whispered, spinning on her heels and leaving the room.

_The hell?_ I looked at the paper in front of my covered in my horrifying chicken scrap. I ripped it in two, then four. I'd try it later.


	18. Chapter 18

The moon light through the window of my room, casting it's silver light on my bed and across my face. I was in a pleasant sleep, which was deep enough to be dreamless. Something caused me to stir, a sound. I let out a reflexive, "Hm?". My eyes adjusted to the darkness...

April stood over me. She looked down at me with the oddest, curious look on her face, with an intensity that was a bit strange for such a young girl. If her family hadn't taken me in, I would have told her to et the hell out of my room. I wasn't in a room I owned anyway and I didn't want her to react negatively and have me out on the streets again, but this time in a place I didn't know.

"Hello?" I asked instead, my voice was still hindered by a drowsy rasp.

"Hello." She repeated, this time as a statement.

She sat down on the bed by my legs.

"April, are you okay?" I muttered.

"Fine."

It was than I realized she had a small children's book in her hand. She opened the book and skimmed it.

"What are you looking at there?" I asked, gesturing with my chin in curiosity.

She gestured for me to come closer. I came closer hovering near her and her book. She flipped to the first page and pointed out at one of the colorful illustrated character that dotted the pages.

"This one is the main character, Daisy." She explained.

She flipped to another page and said, "This is Daisy's best friend. They never give you her name, but you know they're friends because they constantly say so." She rolled her eyes at this as if it was insufferable.

"Oh alright, I see." I nodded.

"Daisy," She pointed to the figure in the book. "tells some secret behind the friends back. You know how it ends, you've heard the story before."

I nodded slowly as if I was really comprehending this.

"Alright well," She said patting my leg. "time for me to be on my way now."

She stood and began to leave. She made sure that her footsteps were simply taps against the floor. Suddenly she took in a low breath, more like a gasp really, and held up a finger.

"I forgot something..." She whispered.

April turned slowly and cleared her throat.

"What bring you here? I would expect New York to be a bit more fun."

"How do you know I'm from-"

"Father told me."

I nodded. After a short pause April began to grow impatient.

"Are you telling me or not?" She hissed through her teeth.

I thought over my New York history. The memory made my ring my hands nervously.

"It's complicated." I murmured.

"What isn't?" She pressed.

"Your book isn't." I smirked.

She scowled and rolled her eyes.

"And those shreds of a letter?" She snapped.

I felt my face fall.

"What did you do with them?"

I felt the sudden urge to lurch forward and strangle the younger child. Instead I held my breath.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all." She smiled and rocked slightly.

I clutched the bed sheets and bit down on my lower lip, half hoping I could draw blood to distract me.

"_That wasn't meant for any-_" I started.

I tried to keep the lid over my boiling anger, yet it was seeping through the cracks.

"I haven't read it yet, but I could." She smiled. "Well that is unless..." Her voice trailed off.

I ran my fingers through my hair clearing my throat nervously. _Little brat_, was all I could think.

"You wouldn't want to know." I hissed.

"Fine than."

She shrugged and released a dramatic sigh, as if saying 'your loss'.

I rubbed the shaft of the nose out of stress. I looked up and April was no longer there.


	19. Chapter 19

I stood out in the heat of a Spring day and watched Will go over tools in his shed. His hands wandered over the tools, lightly brushing each of them until finally he was able to pick up the one he wanted. I watched him for some reason out of pure curiosity. I didn't even know what he was doing. They seemed to have a feel to them and a caring for what they touched, so they touched them ever so carefully. It was like some immensely important decision, maybe it was. He seemed to think of things differently than a normal human being, he must have processed things by taking longer amounts of times to study then, learn everything about them.

He looked over his shoulder at me. I was standing at a willow tree which was curved to the side allowing me to lean against it perfectly, protecting me from a few of the sun's rays. I waved my hand at him, much more respectful than my two fingers of acknowledgment that I'd se back in my "king of Brooklyn days".

"Just kind of standing there?" He smirked.

I shrugged and smiled.

"Yeah, I am." I nodded in acknowledgement of my own activities.

"You need something to do?"

"It would be nice to have."

"Sit." He said gesturing to a place next to him.

I stared at it for a minute. On the ground, in the dirt I would be sitting. Things like this do not kill you, but for some reason the ground of the Earth seemed cold and uninviting. I sit down anyways. I stared up at him. I felt like a child straining my neck to look at him, it was like he was one of New York's towering buildings. He looked over at me taking a moment from his tools and asked, "Why don't we talk about you?". I cleared my throat and took a hard swallow.

"Not much of a past..." I murmured in an attempt to pass over the subject.

"How'd you get to this state?" He pressed.

"I'll give you that one..." I shrugged.

I was dragging my fingers through the dirt trying to distract myself from those intruding thoughts this brought back to mind. I chewed down on my lower lip. I squinted staring down at that dirt. The ground was a cold reminder of myself. I dug into it with my fingers. My nostrils flared and closed my eyes for a moment of silence.

"I just got tickets and left, it was to much for me." I murmured, trying to make it _end_.

"Why was that?"

I tool a shaky breath and struggled from the tightness emanating from my chest. I heard myself say, "Look, I don't even know! It's so confused! I _don't even know what I'm doing, I'm lost..._"

I closed my eyes for a moment... _What did I just say?_ My heart seems to stop beating for a vital second. All of my thoughts somehow disappeared and I sat on the ground, staring down at dirt and counting blades of grass to keep myself from going insane from bursting out in fits of my own blaze, heat and rage. I felt like I was palpitating at some intensely fast rate and I was ready to erupt, almost ready. I tried to crawl inside myself (I hope that makes sense), make it go away... I dug my hands deeper into the ground, feeling the dirt surround my fingers and I feel the slight sting when dirt tries to wedge its self under my finger nails. I felt numb to it all, lost in a sort of haze.

_Silence, complete silence._

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean- No, I jus-" I tried.

I took in a swallow and looked up at him, eyes pleading.

"New York wasn't good for me." I said, voice cracking with memories of my emotion. "My father," I began slowly, pondering what exactly to leave out and what exactly to begin. "came from Ireland with my mother in the 1880's. They lived over by Sheepshead-" I cut my self off quickly realizing these people didn't know my area. "Sheepshead is this part of Brooklyn. My father was a sailor and my mother was a seamstress, but it wasn't seen as proper to for a woman to work. I was born in a short time later. My mother and father hated me... When I was about three my mother got tuberculosis and died. My dad started beating me... So I left. I thought it would be best if I left." I finished, sniffling and breathing a bit heavily.

William clenched his jaw. The stress of the moment left me with the feeling of my heart being constricted. I looked down at my hands, half buried in the dirt. I felt a piece of myself being set down on the ground for the world as public property.

I felt a held, gentle and understanding, on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, it's alright." He said, voice a near whisper.

He smiled in a sort of parental way that told me it was all that needed to be said to understand. I felt a new flood of relief come over me like a refreshing wave during a summer's heat. Some small part of me felt as if I'd let go of some small part of my past which held me back in some sort of way. I don't mean that held me back in a clichéd sort of way, I know it sounds that way. I felt as if I'd been hoarding this, obsessing and festering, it's always in the back of my mind somewhere itching...

"Thank you..." I said, smiling.

It was odd once I felt another unanticipated mood shift. I was unable to identify the feeling bubbling to the surface. The lack of stabilization and lack of certainty left me dizzy with a bitter taste in my mouth. Was I a _thing_? An object for people to play with, like some sort of toy or one of his precious tools. I felt the haze come onto me again.

I stood from the ground, wiping all modicums of dirt from my clothing. I felt a sudden spark of inspiration, a small light turned on in a dark room.

"I think," I mused once I stood. "you've given me an idea with something I've been thinking of. I'll be inside if you need me."


End file.
